Changing of the Guard
by ClutchPaper
Summary: Castiel locks himself away in a Psychiatric Hospital after the Angels fall. He begins his road to discovering what he is now, and encounters some serious trials along the way... one of them is learning to live with the soul of Jimmy Novak. (This is just little story to expound on Jimmy's character, and Castiel's experiences in being human. Season 9 AU)
1. Chapter 1

_Author Note: I've been writing Fanfics for quite a few years. Got around to putting my first Supernatural story up tonight. I haven't caught up to season 8 yet, but I have watched bits of all the seasons...what can I say, I'm not methodical. So consider this a AU season 9 story. Hope you enjoy._

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The bitter breeze seemed to cut through his trench coat straight into his bones. It was as if the Earth was attempting to make the Angel's first night trapped on the ground as miserable as possible. He did not expect it to be so very miserable to no longer be able to regulate the heat around him. He wrapped his arms around his chest, and something shuddered within him, less than a seizure, completely involuntary. He found his teeth clenching as it happened again. _Shivering. It's alright, it's normal. _The voice that calmed the little spike of fear that had pierced his heart. _What does this mean?_ _I don't understand…it is unpleasant. _There were many things that were unpleasant. The ache of his back, the pain of his toes rubbing raw against his shoes, the scabs that had dried on his knuckles, and the wounds that had caused the blood on pants to dry to his knees.

_You-we're cold. We need to get somewhere warm, or else it's gonna get worse._ The man stumbled a little, and saw the sign he'd been walking to find. 'Ellendridge Psychiatric Hospital' The building would not be too far off then. _Who are we doing here?_

_Be silent. _The man walked up the drive way, and he wondered at the vague sense of welcome. He had spent quite some time in a place very similar to this not too long ago. Barely a moment ago when compared to the span of eternity. _Why are we here?_ But, of course, he would no longer have his crass nurse to keep an eye on him.

_Be silent!_ Dragging his exhausted body up the stairs, he supported himself on the doors for a few moments. He looked through the glass window, there were nurses, and pristine white walls, tile floors. Everything he had expected to see.

Gripping the door handle, he pulled it open and stumbled in. His head lifted wearily, he saw a woman of about fifty with at least double that in unneeded fat come shuffling swiftly towards him. He reached out a shaking arm for her, and when she got close enough, he gripped the sleeve of her scrub tightly. "You must…"

The woman looked around in concern, glancing quickly behind him, and then around the room for a threat. When she didn't seem to see one, she wrapped her arm under his, and helped keep him upright. "Come on, boy. Sit down." She held his arm tight, and led him to a chair, he fell back into it. The sensation of taking his weight off his feet made him almost laugh in joy. His legs tingled and burned, his toes felt raw and blistered.

"What happened?" The woman asked in a gentle tone, all while signaling other figures in similar clothing to come assist her.

_She's scared we're violent. Tell her we are not going to harm her._

The man rubbed his hands over his face, then around the back of his neck and closed his eyes. "I-I was lost on my way here." He sputtered out. It wasn't the truth, but the truth would be so much harder to explain. "I think we-_I _ended up in the woods for a few hours." He looked down at his bruised knuckles, and held them up for inspection. "I fell. Obviously."

"I'll get the Doc-" The large woman began to move away, and the man grabbed her arm with speed that surprised himself.

"I need to be committed here-what is your name?" The man's locked eyes with her to emphasize how serious he was, and she looked a little frightened.

"Eliza." She said sharply, and frowned at him. "Now you let go boy, or I will-"

He released his Rottweiler-like hold on her arm and clutched his fists on his lap, agitated. "Eliza, I need to be locked up. Please." Sitting tersely in the chair, he looked up intently at the over-weight woman. "I will take all the tests, anything required."

_I hate you._

Eliza crouched down a little, and looked the man in the eyes. "What's your name, boy?"

The man's fists slid back a little, and he tilted his head. "That depends on which one of us you ask."

At that, Eliza gave him a sad smile, and rose to her full height. All five-foot-three and waddled off to get a wheelchair from a short distance down the hall. "Why don't you sit down, and I'll help get you where you need to go."

_Humiliating. Well done. Now neither of us have what we want._ "That was the plan." Castiel growled in a breath, and allowed himself to be helped to his feet and settled into the chair. He repressed a flinch at the renewed stabbing pain in his feet, and closed his eyes again, fists still tight against his legs.

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Author's Note: Yes, it starts out a little short and slow, but it does start building soon...


	2. Chapter 2

Author note: Hey, so here's chapter 2. Not sure how long this will be. Having a lot of fun writing it. No Beta, so it's just me and my mistakes. Enjoy.

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Singing. He woke up every morning to the untalented singing of Steve in the room next to his. Honestly, although the man had no vocal skills in the least, it was getting to be a welcome routine. Waking up at all was welcome. Rolling off of his stiff and uncomfortable mattress, he stretched, and smiled. _Amelia used to sing in the shower… I wonder if they go to a church now? Does she sing? Does she still believe those songs? I might not be on the best terms with- _It almost seemed wrong to even acknowledge him now. Pulling a fresh shirt over his head, he distracted himself by quietly singing along with the melody that echoed from the room to the left. "Row, row, row, your boat-"

Jimmy Novak leaned against the wall and did fifty half-hearted press ups against it. He had never been one for exercising, but since Castiel had toned his body so well, he figured he might not lose it. He rolled his shoulders, and paused, wondering where the former angel was right now. _Hello? Anyone home?_ He did not get a response, so he jogged over to the door and waited for it to be unlocked. _Blessed silence._ "Merrily, merrily…" In the glass of the little window in his door, he could see the dark circles under his eyes-but also the life there. He could see himself. _ Eyes are the window to the soul-I guess it's true. Who knew? _ _Today's the day, and it's gonna be like it used to be. Just me. Just my family. Cas can just fade off any time now-I'm ready to go home._

Eliza unlocked the door and opened it, he'd been so intent on studying his face in the window that he hadn't even seen her arrive. She smiled at him, and looked him up and down a long second. He smiled at her in return. She was more involved emotionally than she should have been, she loved and cared for each one of the patients, even the ones that did nothing but swear at her. He'd seen her drop everything to have a calming conversation with one of them... and that probably was frowned upon by her superiors, but to most of the patients, she was the supreme ruler here. If they ever fired her for her actions, they might just have a riot on their hands. June, a frail girl with limp red hair and a blankie permanently draped over her left shoulder and arm called Eliza 'Momma Panda'. With the white that streaked through Eliza's dark hair, her pudge, her odd waddling walk and the fuzz of dark hair on her arms and face, he understood why. _I wouldn't be surprised if everyone took up the nick-name soon._

With a welcoming grin and a sly smile, Eliza motioned for him to lean down. He did so, and she ruffled his hair affectionately. "Mornin' Jimmy. Those meds help you sleep, Jim?"

The over-use of his name was one of the things that he'd had to get used to. He wondered if it was a sneaky way to solidify a personality into his head, or just a habit of Eliza's. Combing his hair back into some semblance of order, he straightened up. "Yes. It was like, the first goodnight I've had in-" He blew some air through his lips. "-years."

"No Castiel?" She was partial. Jimmy knew she favored his current personality. _Who doesn't? Cas is about as friendly as a marble statute._

"No Ma'am. He's been asleep. Three days and counting!" Jimmy responded in a tone that probably made him sound insane from the glee in it. But since he was considered crazy, so he assumed that was allowed. "Am I permitted to use the phone today? "

Eliza's short blocky teeth vanished behind a grim expression. "Jim, you've talked about this with Doctor Ruek."

"I know I can get them." _As soon as Castiel lets me have the correct sequence of numbers…Of all the little ways he can still exercise control, why does he put so much effort into that? I just wanna talk to Amelia and baby…Claire, heh, she's not a baby anymore. She's probably going to be driving soon._ Jimmy knew that letting a madman call seemingly random numbers, endlessly hoping to string together the precious seven digits that would allow him to find his wife's cellphone-it seemed insane. Castiel's consistent effort to jumble those numbers together in their mind had not factored in Jimmy's determination, or his ability to turn on a boyish smile and get special privileges. He was always polite on the phone, apologizing for the wrong number, and not fighting when they took the phone away after a few hours. _Most of my working life was doing sales and customer service-Gotta put those phone skills to work somehow. _ Jimmy smiled a little at his next thought. _Cas doing phone work... Now that'd be something to see._

"We can talk to Doctor Ruek. But maybe you should work on that pretty puzzle and talk a nice long walk in the garden today too." Eliza moved on from the conversation and down the hall, unlocking another door, and greeting another placid patient.

Jimmy looped his thumbs on his pant waist and headed off. "Morning!" He greeted those who responded. June, with her blanket. Victoria with her fingers wrapped around her curls. He nodded politely to some of the others. Toby with his matt-haired baby doll. Buzzby with his forehead pressed to the wall. They didn't talk much.

He felt the hall lurch a little._ Jimmy. _The floor became Jell-O, and Jimmy lost his footing, he hit the floor. His fingers clutched his head, _Go away! _He sensed hands on his arms, his legs.

_People. Orderlies and Nurses, they must have seen us go down._ Castiel forced Jimmy down, and to become limp, their body flopped uselessly as his eyes rolled back. Everything went black, and Castiel forced Jimmy away. _I haven't been sleeping. I've been resting. Rebuilding strength. _

Castiel's eyes opened, and he shoved the helpful hands away. His suspicious gaze taking in the people around him. One of them was Eliza. She crouched down, and he could see she was resisting the urge to touch his shoulder in some comforting fashion. "Hello, Eliza."

"Hello, Cas. You gave Jimmy a pretty hard time just now." She whispered in a maternal tone. Castiel only knew the tone because that was how Jimmy thought of her, and when they were not actively keeping information from the other, their thoughts could touch. Maternal. He'd never experienced such a thing himself. He'd been raised by men. Or male-gendered higher beings, specifically. He wasn't sure why he was thinking about a black and white bear either. _Panda. _Although he was not sure what that had to do with his current situation.

"I am aware of that." His legs felt a little shaky, but he got up anyway. "I think I'm going to go finish that kitten puzzle. Excuse me." Jimmy wouldn't be making any phone calls today.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: Part 3, starting to put things together now. Enjoy.

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The room always reeked of cheap men's cologne. He'd been in enough bars and filthy hotels with the Winchesters to know the scent, although the reek of it lingered here, and not on Doctor Ruek himself… which was puzzling. Castiel rotated his shoulders in their sockets, and then adjusted his shirt. He reached for his tie, but his fingers hit his smooth neck, _Oh yes… Jimmy shaves every morning. _Castiel had only just reclaimed the body a few hours ago, and now he was sitting in on a therapy session that was supposed to have been for Jimmy._ And ties can be used as nooses._

"-And he forgave you for beating him?" Doctor Ruek questioned while turning his chair back and forth and plucking at his jacket's buttons.

Castiel narrowed his eyes. "Naomi was in control, and I healed him afterwards. We have a complicated relationship."

"When you say relationship- is it the sort that Jimmy should be aware of?" Jotting something down, Doctor Ruek pulled a slight frown over his baggy face and Castiel mimicked the scowl. _Why is he writing. I hate when he writes, it means something of import has been said._ He wasn't sure what had warranted the attention.

Straightening in his chair, Castiel nodded slowly. "Of course Jimmy is aware of it. He's aware of both Dean, and his brother Sam. The one with demon blood-and the peculiar hair."

"Hmm-and the brother? And Jimmy is-comfortable with this?"

Castiel's eyebrows nearly met, and he tilted his head. "He is."

_Please stop, you_'re _making it worse. You've got him thinking that you were having-uh-that you were-that you three are in some kind of Cupid induced festival of love. Get him to stop writing, Cas. Get him to stop, or so help me when I'm in control-_ Castiel's eyes widened and he reached out a hand to halt the hasty scribbling of Doctor Ruek. "You assume too much. I am not in a-a-what is a term you might use-a shack-up with Dean and Sam. We're just warriors who have been through much together, and friends. Although, occasionally, we have spent time in shacks, and it was sitting as much as standing… can one shack down?"

The writing stopped, and Doctor Ruek set the pencil down, and pinched between his eyes. "I don't think that's a term we would use, Castiel. I'm sorry I assumed you understood what I meant. I forgot you are not as good with non-verbal cues and-hmm-subtle language as Jimmy. Perhaps that's enough for today." Doctor Ruek decided in his clipped monotone. He swiveled his chair and rose from it, opening the door and signaling that the meeting was over.

Castiel rose from his chair and with his head held high walked to the door.

Doctor Ruek held out a hand, and placed it on Castiel's chest, slowing his departure. "It's been made clear that you don't want Jimmy to find his family. I understand that with the chaos going on, you're afraid they might be-"

"They're NOT dead." The former angel clarified for the doctor. Then steadied himself on the frame, blinking away what felt like the floor shifting up and down. "I'm keeping him-and them- alive by being here."

"Mhmm-and all those monsters want to kill everyone-?"

"They will find us eventually. If he's with his wife and child, they will not survive." Castiel stared the balding man down. "We can't protect them like this. I promised they would be safe. So for his own good, we cannot leave."

Doctor Ruek picked at his sleeve, so far, the only annoying habit that Castiel had noticed… other than asking a lot of questions. But Cas knew that came with his job. "Not to say things haven't been-hmm…interesting the last few months."

_The governments of Earth hadn't known what to do with the influx of people falling from the sky, so it had made up stories. Foolish stories. But, a needed ones. They embrace what makes them feel the most safe. _Castiel thought it was ridiculous that people accepted the 'truth' of the stories, but it seemed to be what most everyone was going with at the moment, so he didn't correct it.

Castiel watched as Doctor Ruek pulled a thin white hair off of his cuff and dropped it to the floor. "It's alright to be afraid when you have someone you know will help you out. For Jimmy, it's his family. Even if he isn't a-hmm-an angel like you were, he wants to defend them. Don't you have someone you care-"

There was no reason to lie. "Dean." Cas responded instantly, and intensely. _I understand Jimmy's impulses better than he realizes. I just cannot allow him to expose himself, or his family. This face was mine for too long, it's not safe with demons and angels slaughtering each-other in the streets._

Like a vampire to an injured man, the elderly man followed the trail Castiel had accidentally left for him. "Why Dean?"

Clearing his throat, he clenched his fists and locked his eyes onto the other man's. "We have a special bond. He is someone I feel-He's my family. I cannot risk being with my-" Castiel paused, and tensed his fists, and tilted his head. "-family, and by default, Jimmy won't have Amelia and Claire."

_Very mature. Dean was right, you really are a baby in a trench coat. Have you listened to yourself? _

Knocking a fist against his leg, Castiel was beginning to feel edgy and wanted to leave.

"How are you related to Dean again?" Doctor Ruek's eyes hinted that he wasn't sure Dean existed, there was something unsure and slightly sad about the look. Castiel was getting good at identifying that combination of pity and disbelief that the patients here were often recipients of. _If only all of these minute expressions were as easy._

Shoving his fists into his pockets, Castiel broke the thread of trust he'd created, and looked down at the floor with a scowl. "He's my-brother."

"Not Jimmy's-?"

_I barely know the man. Just what I get from Cas._

"No." Castiel growled through his teeth, letting the doctor know he was very, very finished with the topic.

The older man let a wheezy breath from his nose and looked at the floor where Castiel was looking. Cas felt his shoulders drop a little, just wanting to leave. "I've been talking to you about reconciling rather than suppressing one another, have you given it-"

_No! _Pulling away, the former angel backed into the hall with a warrior's defensive stride and shook his head once. "No. I'm finished talking now."

Giving a slight wave to let Cas know it was alright to go, Doctor Ruek coughed into his shoulder, and let the subject drop.

_I never thought this is how it would end up when I agreed. _Jimmy commented as they walked down the corridor, he listened to the squeak of his soft soled shoes, and felt another surge of vertigo.

_You promised me eternity in exchange for your daughter._ He reached for a wall and his legs went weak for a few seconds.

_That was when I thought it would be like it was-scattered pain and flashes of awareness. _

His open hand found the solid wall, and he leaned against it as the corridor continued to spin. _You're welcome to issue a retreat then-_

_You had her at your mercy! How could I do anything else! _

_Now that you see me as weak, your word means nothing. _

A short ridiculing laugh crawled from his throat, and then there was the sound of liquid hitting ceramic. His ears buzzed, and something seemed to be overwhelming all the other noises, the creaks of gurneys, the voices of patients and workers… it was that splattering sound. _My word? Right! My word is the worst thing I have taken from you. You've done horrible things through me, to me, I've given up everything to you! What-What in perdition is that NOISE? A leaky tap? What is that?_

Following the splashing noise, Castiel looked down. Red dripped down his clothing, he touched his face. _That's where it's coming from. _He stopped up his nose with the shoulder of his shirt, and began lowering himself onto the floor. _Well, this wasn't wholly unexpected._


	4. Chapter 4

Author Note: Hey again. So, been writing this pretty non-stop in down time. Having a lot of fun. I re-wrote the first few chapters this evening, and updated them. I felt like they would have benefited from some clarification and descriptions.

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"Pssst!"

Castiel snapped an ear onto a kitten. He tilted his head, and picked up another piece. He studied what he had completed thus far, and noticed the corner of the pink bow was for the kitten that still did not have a head. He replaced the puzzle piece in the small pile he had created.

Sitting alone in the center of the room, he had chosen a certain space for a piece and was systematically going through every piece until he found the one that fit. _No, this one is also incorrectly shaped. _ He placed the bit of cardboard that he had just selected it into the pile.

"Psst! Mr. Angel!"

The right eye of a fluffy grey kitten was where his current empty spot was located. He checked the next piece, a bit of the woven basket the kittens were sleeping in. _Incorrect pile._ He'd been working on this puzzle all day. It was frustrating… Jimmy had made bafflingly quick progress on the puzzle when he was awake. Castiel was unsure as to how he accomplished this. No matter how fast he tried to go, checking each piece took him a long time.

"Hey! Mr. ANGEL!"

Letting out a slow breath, Castiel placed the piece into the incorrect pile and turned stiffly in his chair. "Steve?"

The man shuffled over, his wide feet flapped across the floor, and he had only three teeth visible in his wide smile. He slapped his large bottom into the chair next to Castiel, and leaned forward. "So, so, so, have you been thinking about what I told you? Have you talked to God about it? Please, please, please, talk to Him about it, because I'm very, very, very, concerned."

Castiel glared at the man, and growled, "He doesn't care about your delusions, Steve Allen Thompson. You can stop asking me now." Returning to his precise but agonizingly slow way of putting together his puzzle, he attempted to ignore Steve until he went away. He could see him fiddling with his lower lip, and quivering like a water-balloon out of the corner of his eye. _He's not going to leave until you listen to him. Just comfort him, and he'll wander off._ Jimmy quietly suggested, content to be dormant at the moment.

_I don't know what to say. Should I lie to him? _Freezing with the puzzle piece hanging over the partially completed picture, Castiel 's eyes clasped onto some inconsequential space just beyond the table while he internally conversed.

_Yes. Please. _

_What should I say. I do not lie…well…_

_Say that you talked with God, and He's made sure there's nothing to worry about. And be nice about it, if you can, he doesn't mean any harm._

_Your affection for this man is pointless. He is insane._

_You've been frozen like this for too long, blink or something. You probably look like you're having an absence seizure._

_I don't know what that is._

_Think about it, and it'll come to you. Now look over at Steve and lie… Unless you want him to help you with the puzzle._

Castiel titled his head, and shifted the cardboard to be with the other rejected pieces. He turned to fully face Steve, and took a deep breath. "But since… you did ask so… politely, I did talk to Him last night. He said that there was nothing to be afraid of here-"

"Oh, oh, oh, he's wrong! Don't strike me dead! But-" Steve leaned down, his thick arm slammed into the pile that Castiel had created, and the bits of cardboard scattered across the table, mingling into all the others.

Castiel hissed in a breath, and glared at the man. His fists curled on his lap, and he leaned forward. "Let me say this again, Steve. And I suggest you listen. Closely. I spoke to Father and He said that there is no monster here. He said that the only thing you should fear-" Castiel moved just a few inches closer, leaning into Steve's personal space. "-is annoying me. Do you require me to tell you why that might be an unwise idea?"

Steve jerked backwards, and with a big blubbering sob, squeaked his chair back. He managed to heave his girth to his feet, and he shuffled off sobbing loudly. "Oh, oh, oh!"

Closing his eyes, Castiel collected his anger and boxed it back up. He reached over and massed the unconnected pieces together and began all over again. _You're such a child. You couldn't even do one little thing, just calm someone down. Cas, he's only five mentally! You can't treat people like that._

_He will recover, and he will stay far from me. I find this to be worth the short trauma he might have suffered._

_You're a jerk, Cas._

Castiel responded as he knew Dean would to the insult… and did so out loud, and then, he quietly refocused on his puzzle.

_Do you think there could be something evil here? Steve has been babbling about a monster here ever since we came. Maybe we should go-_

_No. I plan on sitting here quietly. _The little bit of picture in his fingers lined up with the kitten's eye. All the little curves and knobs fit. He snapped it in, and nodded slowly. One kitten finished, six more to go. And most of the sky. And the basket. And the flowers…


	5. Chapter 5

Author Note: So chaps 1-4 have been self-Beta-ed. Some important information has been added, as the complete story just recently came into view. So, as of the 10/11/13 update, please re-read the first 4 chaps. Thanks!

* * *

All of the numbers came easily, and he leaned his head into the phone, trying to get the courage to push the final number. _Dammit. _ He hung up. The soft sound of Eliza's breathing was not too far off. He can hear her shuffling papers, mumbling things to herself.

When she interrupted his thoughts, he jumped a little, and then stiffened. "Castiel, you've been doing that for almost a half-hour."

He released the little object, letting the phone settle back into the pale green cradle of the corded contraption. "I'm not sure… why." He dryly intoned, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand.

Eliza scraped the legs of a chair across the floor, he watched as she settled in next to him. Her weight made the chair creak, and she folded her hands on what little lap she had. "When my boys get all tongue-tied, that's usually when they need to talk the most. Men're like that. You wanna talk about who you're tryin' to call?"

Castiel considered it a moment, but no more than that, and responded calmly. "No."

Raising a thick eyebrow, Eliza leaned back into her chair. "And if I just listen, my sons'll just start when they're ready. I can wait, Castiel."

Tilting back into his own chair, he continued to tensely regard the woman. He wasn't sure what she was doing… but what she had just told him seemed to be working. He felt the compulsion to share with her, and wasn't quite sure why. This didn't happen often-actually, it only happened with one other person. The very person that Cas was struggling to phone. "I want to call Dean."

"You know his number?" Eliza's concern made Castiel wonder if she was trying to make a connection between Jimmy's struggles with the numbers he had jumbled, or if it was actually meant for him.

_Perhaps it is not good that I have only learned my people skills from the male half of the human species. It's puzzling._ "That's not the problem."

"Doctor Ruek told me he's your brother, why do you want to call him now?" Eliza reached out and took his hands, he felt her body heat warm his chilled fingers, and smelled the pancakes and syrup from breakfast lingering on her clothes. Her sons must eat well, she always smelled of food, usually something sweet. _Probably pie. _"You need to tell him something?"

_I really could use a slice of pie now… have you imprinted Dean on me too…? You're like a giant humanoid duckling._

_I have very few traits in common with any form of fowl. And before you make the wings comment, consider that while I no longer have my wings, I do have an extensive knowledge of the lyrics to Zeppelin songs, and I shall sing them all to you. Repeatedly._ Shaking his head clear, Castiel slouched a little in his chair, and then straightened up. "I'm concerned for our well-being. I-" Cas let out a grunt of discomfort at the confession he was about to make. "-I am unsure of my choices."

Eliza nodded slowly, waiting for him to continue. He did not, and just stared intently on a spot of chipped tile on the floor.

She seemed to take this cue as that the conversation was over, and shared her thoughts. "You remind me of my sons. The three of them fight about something, toys, food, socks, anything… almost every day. But you should hear about the recess scuffles they get into defending one another! Brothers are there for backup when you need them. And only _you_ know if you need yours right now."

She pulled her hands away. _Come back. _Castiel's own hands retreated, they felt warm. He looked at them for a few long seconds, and he wondered if this sensation was how Dean and Sam felt with their hugs. It was like you could just hold onto it forever. That connection that he'd felt sometimes with his brothers… or Father was similar to this. When it was gone, it was painful.

"It's almost lights out. Better make that call, or head to your room, boy." As Eliza pulled her chair away, and set it aside, Castiel hesitated, and then picked up the phone again. He dialed Dean's number and forced himself to hold it to his ear. Dean's name was projected into his ear, and Cas closed his eyes and hung up the phone.

_Why did you do that?_

Castiel rose to his feet, and walked away from the temptation that was the telephone. _I would be a burden to them. I am sure they are currently preoccupied with more pressing trouble. _

Eliza's soft sigh echoed down the hall, following the sound of his soft footsteps. _Because you're human, and weak, and insane, and all the crazies are out to get us?_

_Essentially, yes._

There was silence for a few moments, and Castiel turned the corner heading to his room.

Doctor Ruek walked past; he cleared his throat gently, and gave Castiel a polite nod. Stopping, Castiel nodded back at him and waited for some signal that it was alright to continue past one another. They regarded each other for a few seconds, and Doctor Ruek gave a half-hearted smile after peering into Castiel's eyes. "Have a good night, Castiel".

"And you." Castiel responded automatically without emotion.

Doctor Ruek moved as if to leave, and reached up to pick a stray thread from Castiel's shirt. "See you tomorrow-hmm?" He's actually pinched a little of the skin through the shirt, and Castiel assumed that depth perception must have been yet another problem for the man.

"I should think so. I doubt I will be getting through the locked doors tonight."

"Hmm." Doctor Ruek affirmed, and hobbled off towards the front doors.

Castiel didn't know how to answer, so he chose to say nothing. His fingers tightened into fists and he strode down the hall, blinking wearily. He was tired, he seemed to get tired faster and faster lately. He'd been taking-_What are those called, Jimmy? _

_Huh-What?_

_The-uhn-the sleeping?_

_Naps?_

_Yes. _The mental conversation was short, and Castiel could sense that Jimmy's presence was also tinged with exhaustion. As he walked, Jimmy piped up again, and the floor tilted at an odd angle for a moment. _We've been sleeping better then-like-I ever have. This isn't normal, right?_

Pushing open the door, Castiel nudged his toes into the heel of his shoe, as Jimmy liked to sleep with his shoes off, and sat down on the bed.

The wall he was staring at warped, wriggling like contained Leviathan. He blinked hard, and tried for force the grey plaster flat with his gaze, but it continued the nauseating pulsing. Something burned in his throat, and Castiel closed his eyes, pulling his head close to his chest instinctively. _My throat is burning. What is this?_

_Get to the-_

_This is not thirst._

_No, you need to get-_

"Be. Silent." Castiel attempted to growl, but the sensation in his throat made him gag the words out.

_Cas, let me take over. I know how to handle this, it's normal. It just means that you're sick-or ate something rotten-_

Pulling air through his nose in short bursts, he shook his head. _I will not be sick. If you would be silent, this would not be happening._

"It's not my fault, I told you that sandwich tasted-" The gag that had clung to his throat burst out at Jimmy's voice emerging from their body. Liquid splattered across the room, and Castiel shakily attempted to stand, feeling another bout of his stomach clenching and un-clenching forcing him to hold tight to the bedding. _I think I am ill._

_As Dean might say: You're a freakin' genius. Just let me take- _They both were silent as he become consumed with just emptying his stomach, and then dry retching.

The strangle hold that he had on the bed clothing loosened, and Castiel retreated. _I am... choosing to rest._

Jimmy groaned, and fell backwards in bed. Beyond the vomit, he tasted something else. _Copper? Blood? _ He slowly sat up, and the room swam around him, he managed to get to his feet, and saw Eliza standing in the door way. He wiped his hand over his mouth, and felt the hot tears that accompanied vomiting. He hadn't noticed them earlier, and wiped them away too.

"…I'm not doing so great here." As he pulled his hand back, he saw red smeared up his arm from where he had tried to clean his face off. _What the heck?_

"Jimmy, I need you to lay back down." No nonsense, no smile, Eliza strode into the room and wrapped an arm around his waist, helping hoist him into bed. "Did you bite your tongue-where's this blood from?"

Jimmy swallowed hard. It had appeared when he threw up, and there wasn't much there-_Maybe I did bite my tongue. _ He wasn't sure, and shrugged as best he could. "Could I get some water, please? I'm so sorry for the mess… Cas was too miserable to listen to me when I told him that the tuna tasted off today."

Eliza's smile emerged, and she smoothed his damp hair back quickly before heading out to the hall and returning with a plastic cup of water a few moments later. "I think Hamburgers are about the only things that brighten his day."

"I know, it's strange, right? That, and long periods of staring at bees." Sipping the water, Jimmy shifted himself up on the bed a little more and swallowed hard. "Sorry for the mess."

"It's not your fault, boy." Eliza patted his shoulder, and took the empty cup, waddling out of the room. "I'm going to get some help to clean this up, and then I'll get you cleaned up." She didn't seem fazed by the revolting smell, but her eyes showed concern.

_I'm not sure what's up with the blood either… _Jimmy confessed internally, and closed his eyes to try to rest for a few moments. Everything in him was tired, as if he had burned through the energy of his afternoon nap already.


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you for the reviews, I am enjoying writing this very much. Thank you for reading.

* * *

Doctor Ruek was twirling his silver pen in his fingers, and occasionally chewing on its end. _We might not agree on much, but this guy is incredibly douche-y. _

_Yes. He does become more grating with prolonged exposure. _

Jimmy wrapped his arms around his shoulders, and closed his eyes a few moments, trying to conjure up what he was instructed to. "I see my house."

"Good, and where does Cas belong in this picture we are creating-Hmm?" Doctor Ruek's voice was muffled by the fact he was chewing on that pen again, and Jimmy could hear the squeak of his chair as he rocked back and forth.

Jimmy frowned. "Nowhere."

"Part of accepting who you are as a whole person is finding a place for Castiel. You must-hmm-think of him as a part of you, you see yourself as your house, so where does Castiel live in that house?"

Jimmy mentally walked up the sidewalk to the front door. He could see Claire sitting at the kitchen table through the window. He unlocked the door and went into his home. The dining room, the kitchen, the living room, the closets-Jimmy began to desperately check them, there was no sign of Claire or Amelia. The rooms were empty.

"He's…I think he's the empty spaces in the house."

"How so?"

"Like the air-the space between the couch and the ceiling, he's part of everything, but he's not actually part of it. He's separate." Jimmy shrugged, eyes still closed, trying to convey his relationship with the former angel in terms that the Doctor might be able to understand. _I do not like your analogy. I am not air._

_Keep blustering. _Jimmy shot back, and peeked an eye open. Doctor Ruek was twirling slowly in his chair. He caught Jimmy's gaze, and looked a little ashamed, and picked up his pad of paper again. "Let's back out of that house for right now, and let's go into another. How about where you grew up?"

Jimmy nodded, closed his eyes tight, and held his arms a little tighter. _It's always too cold in here. _ The beat-up trailer came into view within his mind, and he felt his lips twitch into a smile.

_Why is the grass all dead, is this land cursed?_

_Who invited you? _Jimmy asked, shifting a little on the couch he was laying on and feeling the familiar wave of dizziness descend.

_I was growing restless, and your image was very clear, so I joined you. _Castiel's voice responded roughly, and obviously unimpressed with what he was seeing.

_Not all of us got to grow up in heaven._

_I did not technically grow up anywhere. I was created fully-_

_It's not cursed ground, it's a trailer park. So, it's basically the same to a lot of people… but it was home for me. _Jimmy ran down the potholed road to the off-white trailer with the half-finished porch tacked onto the front. _I lived here with my Mom and Dad, and my baby sister…We moved out when she was four._

_Joyce Lindsey Novak. I remember her._

_No, you remember me remembering her. _Jimmy corrected, and reached to open the door.

Doctor Ruek cleared his throat loudly, and Jimmy realized he had not been listening to anything other than the conversation in his head. "What?"

"I said-hmm-this will be you and Castiel working together. Do you think you can do this for me?" The Doctor asked, and Jimmy heard the sound of that pen being worked around the man's mouth.

_I hope that isn't some Freudian thing. _Jimmy thought to Cas, and he realized it was a mistake almost immediately.

_That man isn't Freud. Frued smoked cigars and had a very distinct fascination with se-_

_Yeah, I know, Cas. Shut up. _Jimmy felt that sore spot on his arm return with the pressure he put directly on it. He'd been meaning to look and see if he'd scraped himself somehow, but it never hurt unless he touched it. Shifting his hands a little Jimmy turned his head, eyes closed, towards the Doctor. "What do you mean work together? If it's just not kill each other or have another seizure, then yeah, we've been doing pretty good with that lately."

"Lovely. What I want you to do is take turns describing your earliest memory. Jimmy, from your home, and Castiel, from yours. Then we'll go from there." The chair began squeaking repeatedly, and Jimmy realized the Doctor was spinning in it again. "I won't be interrupting, just say whatever is emerging in your mind, and then let me know when you've finished-hmm?

Jimmy turned his head back to face the ceiling, and went back to that picture of the trailer. He opened the door, and saw the nursery. Joyce was sitting with a blankie over her head. "I'm in the room my sister and I shared, she was about one, I was three. We were playing hide-and-seek, and she didn't understand I could see her even if she couldn't see me. I pulled the blankie off of her head, and she fell over, she cried and ran to mom. I ran off and hid in the laundry hamper, afraid I was in trouble. I fell asleep there, and Mom didn't find me until four hours later." He could clearly see his mother pulling the wicker lid back, and looking down on him. A stab of loss plunged through him.

_She looked like you._

_Yeah. You too, I guess. _Jimmy joked, trying to lighten the mood he'd created in himself.

_I am a being of pure energy. I would have burned her eyes out if she looked on my true-_

_Oh, shut up. _Trying to play out the image to the last minute, Jimmy saw her lean down to pull him out, his thick little fingers reaching for her.

_What is this?_

_What? She's picking me up._

_Why?_

The image froze and faded away, Jimmy wriggled to make himself more comfortable on the stiff couch. _Because she needed to get me out of the basket._

_It was like Sam._

_Sam was in a basket?_

_Sam is this to Dean. This-feeling._

_Families are bitter-sweet, Cas. _The image came back, frozen just as she smiled when she reached in, her arms open, her big curly hair like a brown halo over her head. _Cas, what are you doing? This isn't yours to-_

_She loved you. You did nothing for her, and she loved you regardless of your actions. _

Jimmy sensed Castiel's despair at the image, and pulled it away like a ball on a string. _That's mine. You leave them alone. They are not yours._ Pulling all the memories and images back, he shoved them away, and retreated to keep them safe. _Your turn._

_I-I don't remember much. What I do remember I cannot visibly share with you, Jimmy. You would go mad from looking at it. No man can stand in the full glory of God._

Castiel slipped into control, and stiffened, clutching at the sides of the couch. "It was fire. We were spoken into existence, forged from stars, torn from the hosts of heaven to be the Hosts of Heaven. The sheer power, the number of us. I felt this… glorious sensation, life. I felt the thrum in my ears… the sound of my brothers and sister discovering their own creation. Then I heard Him."

Castiel gripped the fabric of the couch, as if to keep himself grounded, he forced himself to lay still on the couch. "He said a few simple words. He looked at us, and we couldn't bear to see His full splendor, we cowered before Him. A gentle hand touched each one of us, we screamed as wings burned into our backs. I could hear the smile in his voice. He said, "It is good"…and then He moved on to finishing His creation." Releasing his hold on the couch, Castiel opened his eyes and sat up frantically. He sensed that the vessel had been sweating, almost feverish with the recollection. "That is my beginning."

Doctor Ruek had paused writing, and was looking intently at Castiel, his eyes wide with surprise, the pen hanging from his mouth.

Shaking with-Cas wasn't sure what-Cas rose to his feet, and walked to the door. "I believe we have finished for today."

_What the heck... You remember being created?_

_Of course. One does not forget such a thing, no matter what has been removed, shifted, or planted in my mind. That was when I got to encounter Father. I could never forget that._

"I have a few more-" Doctor Ruek began, and Castiel turned on him, glaring him down.

"I said we have finished for today. I will no longer cooperate with you!" Castiel growled, lowering his head and waiting for Doctor Ruek to see reason.

_Calm down, you're being very rude. _Jimmy chided, and Castiel felt a little shift in the floor as Jimmy's annoyance affected his balance.

"I am not being rude. I have finished, and he will waste time inquiring further." Castiel opened the door, and looked away from Doctor Ruek. Tensely, he headed off down the hall. _I am going to the garden. Please do not disturb me._

_No problem. You watch those bees…we can just… sit quietly._


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Note: So this is taking longer than I had anticipated. Obviously. Since Sam and Dean have not even shown up yet. However, I do hope you enjoy. Leave a review if you'd like. Makes me happy to see them.

* * *

Jimmy snapped the last piece into the puzzle. _See? It's so much easier when you just look at the big picture. _Awkward silence resonated in his head as he felt Castiel judging him.

_It is a more important skill to use in life._ The kitten puzzle had been Cas' choice. He knew it wasn't anything deep, but it amused him that the former angel drifted towards the soft and gentle ones rather than the ones of the coliseum or Campbell's soup cans.

_You're just being a sore loser because-_ The distinctive sound of slapping feet grew nearer, and with the grace of a land-locked manatee, Steve sat down.

Jimmy looked over, and Steve reared back like a startled kitten. "Oh-oh-oh! Oh? Oh. It's you, Jimmy. It's you. It's you. I was worried Mr. Angel would be here. He's got to be the meanest. The meaner-iest of the meanest sometimes."

_No, he's mostly just painfully practical, with people skills about equal to those of a snail. _Skidding his chair across the floor, Jimmy turned to face the blubbery man. "Do you need help with Sudoku?" Even at the lowest of levels, it was beyond Steve, so Jimmy filled in most of the numbers and left four or five blank for him to puzzle over all day…or for a few days. It was another one of those foolish routines that Jimmy was coming to appreciate. A routine meant it was something he was around for. _Waking up. Singing. Sodoku. Discussing Colors with Tammy… I always believed life was precious, but I never realized how much simple things can matter. Not until I wasn't allowed them. _

"Nope, nope, nope. No Sudoku. I was wondering if you'd ask God-no, Mr. Angel would ask God about this-" Steve began tugging off his shirt. He managed to get it over his head before Jimmy could stop him.

"What're- Steve? We gotta keep our clothes on. Clothes are super important-like really important there, buddy." Jimmy's complaints stopped as he saw the patch of skin where Steve's shoulder met his collar bone. "What on earth…"

"It's the monster. The one that's gonna get us all, yes, yes, yes, it is." Steve whimpered, and rocked in his chair as if he was about to begin to cry. "It wants me next, getting me ready to eat. Gonna eat me, Jimmy."

Instinctively, Jimmy leaned closer, and studied the discoloring on the flesh. _Cas? _ He slipped back without complaint as the former angel took control and stiffened a moment, before frowning and squinting at the skin. Jimmy commented as they both looked at the moldy blue-ish mass that was infecting the shoulder area. _It looks like rotting flesh. Why is his flesh rotting, is it gangrene? Okay, I-I can't look at this. Please turn your head or something…you know how I am with gore._

_It is not gangrene. _ Castiel continued studying Steve, and then looked up at him. "How long have you had this?"

Steve's face paled, and he shoved his chair back. With surprising speed, he lurched from the chair, and clinging to his shirt, lumbered away. "Oh! Oh! Oh! I'm sorry, Mr. Angel!"

"Steve Allen Thompson, when did you receive that?" Castiel snarled at him, following him across the room.

Steve began to wail loudly, and shuffle as quickly as he could away. "Oh! Oh! Oh!"

Undeterred, Castiel followed him, and then passed him, standing in the hall and raising a hand to prevent him from going any further. "Halt."

"Don't hurt-don't hurt me, Mr. Angel. I didn't know you was here." Steve blurted out, snot running freely down his face along with his tears. "Don't hurt me, Mr. Angel." Steve's face contorted, and he shivered. His stricken appearance froze, wobbling on his feet, he suddenly pitched forward.

Castiel attempted to catch him, but the sheer weight of the man crushed him to the floor. Struggling under the quarter-ton man, he realized he wasn't going to be able to get free. "This is ridiculous." Managing to get an arm out, he checked for a pulse on the thick neck, only for his fingers to push through soft rotten flesh, fluids burst like water from a taunt balloon and splashed down his arm.

_Is that-_

_I know how you feel about…gore. Perhaps you should try to ignore this._

_What the crap just happened? Why is...he's dead isn't he?_

Castiel tilted his head back, and saw a group of nurses and orderlies come running over. He wriggled, trying to assist them, pushing at the bloated corpse, and squirming free. Crouching, he tilted his head, ignoring the orderlies that were trying to check on Steve. "He is dead. And he's decomposing at a rapid rate…"

"Cas, honey, come away from there." Eliza gripped his arm and she tried to pull him away, a jolt of pain surprised him, distracting him from the now corpse for only a moment, before he craned to look at the body further. The blue was quickly blackening, and he could smell the flesh rotting. Eliza reached up and took hold of his face, Castiel struggled against the touch. She forced him to stand up a little to get to her height, and turned him so he couldn't see the body. "You don't need to see that." Her light brown eyes conveyed that there was no conversation to be had.

"I am capable of-" The former angel responded regardless of her hands cupping his cheeks, and he tried to turn to look at the body again.

"What did I just say?"

Castiel furrowed his brow, and gently removed her hands from his face.

_He was right, this whole time. He was scared because there's something here. Did you-did you know, Cas?_

"Something evil has come here, Eliza." He continued holding her fingers, and felt them tremble a little in his own. He tilted his head, and looked at her more intensely. She looked away, and he knew how to read that look, he had used it himself._ Guilt._

_No. Not Eliza. Please don't let Eliza be the monster._

Castiel leaned closer to her, and she looked up. He could hear the orderlies and nurses exclaiming and retching. He could smell rot and puss emanating from behind him, and knew that it was the scent of flesh left in a warm humid room for days, not minutes. Peering into her eyes, he nodded slowly. _I do not believe she is._ "I am dirty." He showed her the blackening filth running down his hand.

Eliza nodded back at him, and pulled away. "Come on. We'll get you showered off." She began waddling away, and Cas shot a look over his shoulder to see the remains continue to liquefy.

_You never answered my earlier question, Cas. Did you know there was something supernatural happening here?_

_No. _Castiel rubbed his arm where it still tinged with pain. _Not at first. But quite quickly._


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Note: This is part 1 of a larger sequence, so... because I don't want to overwhelm you with a super-long chapter, you'll have to wait for part 2. Because I am evil.

* * *

Tammy whispered about the qualities of green, and what a lovely singing voice it had. Jimmy gave absent nods and half-responses. This didn't deter her though, she mumbled on, plucking her left eyebrow hairs free from her face and putting them in a little pile on the table.

Jimmy's attention was elsewhere though. He saw it now, those little blue-black bruises. He had previously attributed it to the fact that the patients were often clumsy, and would have scrapes or bruises no matter how safe the hospital was. _But, these're different. They just...linger. They don't heal or change color. _Martin galloped by, shouting at the horse only he could see to ride like the wind..on the back of his neck, a tiny spot. Dylan, had a trickle of tears flowing down his dark skin, he had just crawled under the table to the right, his cheek showed a deep bruise. Tammy directly across from him had it on her forehead, just above her eyebrow. _Or where her eyebrow used to be._

_Look at that Orderlies' arm. _Castiel instructed, and Jimmy directed his gaze to the large man that was trying to pull Dylan from his cubby under the table.

_It's not just the patients._

_No. _

Jimmy rose to his feet, and patted Tammy on the shoulder as he moved away from the table. She mumbled a goodbye to him, and to the color gold that floated around him and made her ears hurt. _Cas, is everyone here infected… _ Jimmy passed a willowy woman with glossy red curls that he had seen in the hall last night when Steve had died, she had tried to help with the body. _Isn't it way too quiet for having a patient die like that last night? There are no whispers… no fear from the staff. _

_There was no terror last night, because it is superseded by something else._ Castiel dryly intoned, and Jimmy dabbed a little dribble of blood from his nose.

_Damn. _ Jimmy pressed his sleeve against his face and held it there as he felt a surge of nausea. _We're bleeding again._

_Women consistently bleed once a month for most of their adult lives._

_…Is that your way of telling me to man up?_

_It was my 'way' of telling you to… 'live with it'._

_Don't know if living is an option here, because if Steve was right, and something was marking us as meals, any one of us could end up as cream of rot. Cas, we have to save these people. _Silence from his angelic parasite made him realize what he had said had surprised Castiel. "I can't just let these people die, can I?"

_You assume you can do something._

Jimmy checked faces as he walked, looking for Eliza. He passed some of the patients, some of the workers, but as he walked past where Steve had died, he saw nothing out of the ordinary. It had been cleaned spotless. _Even as humans, we stand a better chance of defending these people than anyone else. _Jimmy paused his search a moment, and locked his eyes onto one of the pale walls. _But, If-if we can't do this…I think you should call. _Again, Castiel didn't respond, and Jimmy blinked hard, returning his attention to the world around him. _I might want to be with my family-but I have a soul, Cas. I allowed you to run my life before-_ Jimmy paused in his thought, and shrugged in something akin to defeat. -_and if it has to happen again-I might just die in here. But that doesn't mean I won't save lives any way I can. I'm not a coward, Cas._

_I am aware you are not a coward. From the moment you plunged your arm into boiling water at my bidding, I knew._ Jimmy patted away more blood with his sleeve, and walked on, looking for Eliza. _You have been tortured, beaten, torn apart, held the souls of purgatory within your frame, and you continue to reform when I am resurrected. I have never doubted your bravery, James Novak._

Jimmy walked with a bit more bounce in his step then Cas did, and as he passed Shelia, a young blind woman who suffered from extreme depression, she greeted him by name. Jimmy wondered how one body could be used so differently that even the footfalls were distinct. They were still his feet, after all. "Hey, Shelia. Do you want to clean me out at monopoly again?"

Her dull green eyes looked up, and she moved some thin brown hair off her forehead. "You let me win."

"Not true, I'll beat you next time, and then you'll see." Jimmy responded brightly, and kept walking. She let out a scoffing sound, and they parted ways, Jimmy's smile vanished as soon as he was out of her sight. _Not to change subjects-_

_Then do not._

_Not to change subjects, but… we've been doing better. Less...is there a word that sounds more manly then fainting?_ Jimmy spotted a familiar head of verging on salt-and-pepper hair, and he hurried towards Eliza. _But this nausea, the nose bleeds, the exhaustion… I don't know, Cas. They're just getting worse, it's wearing me out. _

_I do not know if this accounts for all of our trails, but when two souls in conflict with a single body, a human body, without a supernatural presence to maintain control… any form of mental-emotional-spiritual conflict might have had negative effects on the vessel._

_So the less we struggle for dominance-?_

_The less damage we do. _Castiel theorized, and gently attempted to nudge into control.

Jimmy forced him back. _We have to be gentle about handling this with Eliza. You're a Neanderthal in the people department. I'm a-I was-a salesman. Trust me, I've got this. _The floor tilted a little, and Jimmy reached to support himself on the wall. He heard the pounding of blood in his ears for a second, and brought a new section of his sleeve to his nose again. The red stained the shirt, and he closed his eyes trying to suppress the warping sensation of his surroundings. Things stopped spinning after a few seconds, and he opened his eyes. Eliza was there, holding out a towel for his nose.

"Hello, boy. How're you doing today? You recoverin' alright from the fright last night?" She handed the soft cloth to him, and gave a small sad smile. "Steve having a heart attack right there must have really upset you. You hit your head...do you remember hitting your head?"

Jimmy spoke through the bloody rag, having to project because of the fabric over his mouth. "I did? No." He frowned, searching the floor, trying to recall that moment.

"You were unconscious." The words came out flat, as if she hated saying it.

Castiel's mind fluttered at the edge, wanting to take over. However, Jimmy knew how he lacked... tact, when it came to attempting to get the truth from someone. He was prone to slamming things and shaking people. Jimmy's tactics were more subtle. He looked at her with wide innocent eyes and shook his head. "No, Eliza. We both know that is not what happened."

Eliza's hairy double chin quivered, as if she was clenching her jaw.

The blood had stopped, and Jimmy pulled the towel away, giving it a few more swipes to be sure. The blood was already drying into a crust on his skin, and he wriggled his face to try to alleviate the uncomfortable sensation. He tucked the tip of the towel into his trouser waist.

"You don't like this any more than I do. I know you care about the people." Shifting on his feet, Jimmy reached out and put a hand on her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.

Shaking her head, she watched him with watery eyes. "I can't. You need to pretend you didn't see anything. If you don't, you'll end up on so many drugs that turtles will be quicker on their feet." Speaking faster and with more intensity then he had ever heard from her before, Jimmy knew she would break if he continued pushing. He could hear the fear in her voice was put beneath her emotional attachment to the patients here. Himself included.

"Eliza, there's something marking people-killing them. You know what it is, and I think-we think, we can kill it if we know what we're up against." Jimmy urged, releasing his grip on her arm and nodding earnestly to her.

The hall's edges warped inward, and he felt Castiel slipping into control. Jimmy's eyes rolled back a moment, he shivered violently, but he didn't fight, and managed to stay on his feet.

_We remained surprisingly upright. _ Castiel commented to Jimmy, and rose an eyebrow, tilting his head and checking his feet to be sure.

_I think you might'a been right about making ourselves sick… Damn, that means Ruek might be right. Cas, maybe we've got to work on just surviving together. I-I mean, it doesn't seem like either of us have a choice._

_Is now really the time for this? _Castiel shifted his weight to his other foot, and blinked a few times, realizing that Eliza was now crying softly. He cleared his throat, and reached back up to her shoulder, giving it a few swift pats. "There, there. You don't need to do that." When the tears continued, he backed up a few steps and looked awkwardly around the hall.

_Smooth, Cas. You took over for this?_

_I was had a perfectly good series of questions to ask, but… look at her. She's useless at the moment._ Eliza buried her face in her elbow, and began crying in earnest. _It's getting worse. How do I get her to stop?_

_Hug her._

Castiel stepped closer hesitantly, and cleared his throat again, refusing to look at her for more than a few seconds. _I don't think-_

_Listen to me, you featherless turkey, you give that woman a hug._

_And she'll cease weeping?_

_No, probably she'll cry harder. _

_Then what purpose-_

Jimmy asserted some control, his footing slipped, and Castiel tumbled forward a little, catching himself on Eliza's shoulders. He righted himself, and leaned down at the waist, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and head. "Uhm- there, there. It's going to be alright." _I am lying now. _Panic at the situation made Cas' eyes go wide. Eliza wrapped her thick arms around his waist and he felt the sobs travel through her and shake him. His arms were forced to move up, and he was now holding her mass of greying hair. "Eliza, I understand you are distressed. If you could attempt stopping, you might be able to assist us in ending the source of your… emotional discomfort-" Castiel held tightly to her head, and raised both eyebrows, wondering if this was normal for women. "-And mine as well." He had some small experiences with them, but most of the interaction was from his time as Jimmy or as Emmanuel. Neither were actually him in the strictest sense.

_Push her off, gently, and crouch down to her height. _Jimmy instructed, and Castiel obeyed. Eliza allowed him to do so, and he saw that her face was red and blotchy, and there were four streams of clear liquid, two from her eyes and two from her nose.

_That is revolting._

_Welcome to how normal people cry. _Jimmy quipped with a smirk in his internal voice. _Your Winchesters emote like they're modeling on camera._

_I do not understand your insult, and I am choosing to ignore it. _Castiel tilted his head, watching Eliza use the edge of her shirt to dry her face, leaving wet splotches on her once clean clothing. "Please, Eliza. What is killing us?"

"It's not-" Eliza's eyes were still frightened, but were now red from the crying. She looped an arm around his, and he stood to his full height. "Let's walk and talk, okay, boy?" Leading him towards the door to the garden, she walked quickly, and he took large steps to keep up with her swift waddle. She whispered up to him with an attempt at a false smile on her face. "We shouldn't be talking about it in here."


	9. Chapter 9

Part 2, enjoy.

* * *

They entered the little garden that was there for the residents to relax in. Pick flowers, watch butterflies. Or in Cas's case, the bees. Eliza walked them over to a bench and sat down. She looked calm and collected, but Jimmy had felt the shivering in her arm. She was putting on a show for someone. Her false smile continued, and she looked around the garden as if she was admiring the view. "If I tell you anything, you need to promise me you can kill it." Her dark eyes locked onto him with a desperation he had seen before. He had seen it in all those people, angels, hunters, that had needed him to save them. He had seen it in Jimmy's eyes when he was in Claire Novak, the purest of desperation.

"We will kill it." Castiel looked away from Eliza, and his eyes found a bumblebee that was currently making a daffodil bob up and down with its weight on the petal. His hands folded on his lap, and he followed the path of the insect as it moved on to another flower that he did not know the name of. "We will kill it."

"I don't think you're an angel, sweetheart." Eliza responded softly, and he did not turn to face her, his attention still on that bulbous and fuzzy bug.

"If you believe me or not is of no import." Dryly, Castiel did not reveal his slightly insulted pride at her declaration. "I promise you, we will kill it."

"I think Jimmy created you to protect himself."

"He had a good life at the time I claimed him. If he was to have created an alternate person to cut himself off from pain, it certainly would have been earlier." The bumble bee flew off, up into the air, then over the roof of the hospital, once it was out of sight, Castiel turned to the woman next to him. "Jimmy and I are in agreeance on few things, Eliza, one of them is that we will kill this creature, or die in the attempt."

"Why?" Eliza looked at him intently, and her bushy eyebrows nearly met in the middle.

Castiel shifted his position slightly, and then leaned forward. "Because I was an Angel of Heaven, and Jimmy is a brave man. Now, tell us what you know."

Leaning forward as well, Eliza held his gaze without wavering. "Let Jimmy promise as well."

Pulling back, Castiel raised his eyebrows. _Jimmy, I believe she wants to hear it from you._

_I know, I was listening. Pull back, Cas._

_Very well. _Castiel shuddered as he was gripped by the sense of vertigo. Everything blurred a moment, and he closed his eyes. He felt Eliza's arm grip his shoulder to keep him from toppling off the bench. The sensation became less distinct as his senses dulled, and he became only an observer.

Blinking hard a few times, Jimmy reached up and held onto Eliza's arm as his personality solidified control. _That actually wasn't too bad._

_Thank you._

_Pat yourself on the back._

_Why would I-?_

"Yeah, hey Eliza. Sorry." Jimmy let go of her arm, and blew a breath out through his lips. "He's right. I'm actually the one that talked him into it. If there's something killing here…and I know there is, nothing like seeing it first hand, to make a believer. Then you have nothing to lose letting us do our best to get rid of it."

A soft false grin slipped across her face again, and he followed her gaze to the windows of the hospital. He skimmed them over, and saw no-one watching them. _Seeing nothing doesn't mean there isn't something watching though. _He commented, to which Castiel only sent a vague sense of acceptance of this fact.

Eliza's eyes continued roaming the building, and Jimmy saw she continued to hold the calm smile. "He knows where we are, he'll come to our homes. A nurse… Rory, he tried to get help. It killed him, then it went after his family, and then it turned on some of the residents." Eliza's voice caught for a moment. "Craziest thing, after he finished, he called the police. The corpses rotted into nothing in under ten minutes. The police arrived and searched the entire hospital… there was nothing left to find. No bodies. Nothing but a little bit of dust and empty rooms… and insane sounding explanations. He has us by our throats, Jim. The police will never see anything. Who would we call for help-" Eliza's lip quivered again, and Jimmy placed a hand on her knee in support. "If my boys knew what was happening here. God, Jim, they're just babies. I can't leave them, I can't leave them alone." Her casual expressions belied the intensity in her voice. Jimmy felt a sinking feeling in his stomach, and Castiel's thoughts burned in the back of his mind unrevealed.

Jimmy held tight to her knee, looking up into the clouds. "The spots on the skin, it kills you with those?"

Eliza nodded just within his range of sight. "It picks someone, every few months, it's not scheduled and it's not limited to patients. They fall over and rot away while they're still alive. It's like-some sort of horrible curse on this place. People just die, and we have to pretend everything is normal or else we are next."

"How long has this been happening?"

"Two years." Whispering, he felt Eliza stiffen under his fingertips, she was angry.

"And you no one else tried to go for help?"

"What interest would they have in more prank calls? When the world is going to hell out there?" A mass of fluffy white clouds drifted by, as if the conversation below them was as peaceful as the breeze that pushed them, and Eliza pulled away from Jimmy's touch. "It's bad, Jimmy. The staff pretends everything's fine… but it's not out there in the real world, any more than it is in here. There's no place safe anymore."

_It's time for the big question. She's ready. _ Jimmy turned to completely face her, and unwittingly mimicked Cas' intense gaze, tilting his head downward slightly. "Who is doing this?"

Eliza took a deep breath, hatred replacing the fear in her eyes. Her thin lips pulled into a bitter line, she hissed through her white teeth. "Doctor Ruek. It's Doctor Ruek. He'll pinch his mark onto your skin, and then you're his. It'll spread when he's ready to feed on you. I don't know what the hell that SOB is, but he's not human."


	10. Chapter 10

**Author: **Thanks for all the totally cool reviews! I read each one, and I appreciate them! I do have a question though... this Fic just got quite long. But I have found what I think is a pretty unique and exciting storyline that melded into this beautifully. I think I can leave this one "complete" in a few chapters, for those who don't want to read a long Fic. Thoughts?

* * *

It was lights out. Jimmy stared at his feet, and scuffed them gently across the floor. He could make them out by the lights from the parking lot that poured pale yellow into his room. _Are you awake?_

_Of course. _ Castiel's voice responded dryly, but with an air of exhaustion. It was one of those rare moments where they were both too tired to care who was dominant, and Jimmy had just held on after the conversation with Eliza. He got to his feet, and headed to the window. He looked out at the trees that blocked the city from view, and the few cars owned by the night crew. _We just declared war, Castiel. _Jimmy pressed a fist against the windowsill and glared at the reflection that looked back at him. He could see Castiel there. The tilt of the head, the way his eyes slowly became slits.

_I am an angel-former angel-of my word. We will destroy Doctor Ruek, and then things will continue as they have been._

Jimmy ran his knuckles across the cement of the sill and felt volcanic anger in his chest. _I don't want them to continue as they have been. I want those numbers Cas. You heard what Eliza said, the world outside has gone mad. I need to know my family is okay._ A splatter of red hit the white paint, and Jimmy looked into the window to see a rivulet of red trailing down his face. He watched it flow and looked up into his own eyes, and saw Castiel there.

_If you leave, everything I have ever wronged will find and follow you until the end of days without rest. If you love your family, please, know I am protecting them… as best I can now._

_You're not an angel, you don't get to say what is best for my family. _Jimmy saw the coldness in his own eyes, and he wasn't sure who to attribute it to.

_I was an angel of the Lord. You were a salesman. I don't think you comprehend whom you're challenging._

Jimmy pulled his shirt over his head, and pressed it against his nose, breaking the gaze he'd been holding with his own reflection. _If you could comprehend a Husband and Father's love, Cas… you would realize why I need to know they're alright. _Jimmy removed the shirt from his face and mopped up as much of the blood as he could from the sill, but it just spread around mostly. He placed it against his face again and walked back to his bed. He could see the treetops outside his window, and waited for Castiel's response, but it didn't come.

Jimmy sat for a long time, trying to calm himself, the exhaustion coming back to him. He looked over at his arm, a deep bruise colored his pale skin. _Marked. He could kill us at any time._

"Yes." Cas's rumbling voice responded through him, and the window slanted to the left a little.

Jimmy closed his eyes. "What is he, Cas?"

Rising back to his feet, Jimmy attempted walking to the little sink in the far corner. He wobbled, but managed to make it, holding onto the ceramic for support. Cas continued talking out loud, as if he was excited by the new development in their shared body. "By my best guess, he is a Gjenganger. A… ghost of sorts. They would often come about in ancient times, someone would be on the brink of death, their spirit un-reaped, but by means of magic, or a fluke failure of the laws of the universe… without the aid of a Reaper… they would repossess their corpse within moments of dying. The result is a mortal, with abilities which can be similar to that of a ghost."

Jimmy splashed water on his face, washing off the blood. "So not a zombie... okay, how do we… hunt it?" He washed his hands as well, and brought some water to his lips, taking a drink from his cupped hands. _Your making my throat hurt, I don't talk that low, you're going to damage something._

_Don't whine… do you know who whines? Babies… so I've heard. _

_You stole that from Dean, didn't you?_

Castiel ignored the accusation, and spoke again, Jimmy felt the water drip from his mouth, and rolled his eyes. _You couldn't even let me swallow?_ "Decapitation usually works on most mortal things. Holy water and salt might slow it as well. But I believe burning it would be our best course of action. We must do it before it has a chance to begin-"

"Rotting us alive… yeah… I-I'd like to pass on that part." Jimmy groaned, wiping the water that had dripped down his face, and walked shakily back to his bed.

He lay down and pressed his face into the pillow. He slept on his stomach, while Cas slept on his back. _One ankle daintily tucked under the other_.

_It is not… dainty. I do not like that word being applied to me… or to my sleeping habits._

_Bet that's something you never expected to say._

_…I have physical needs now. Sleeping is one of them. Being distraught will not solve my current predicament._

Jimmy held the pillow close, and curled up tight, closing his eyes. _So, tomorrow, we're gonna kill a monster… and… thanks for letting me finish out the day. I appreciate it._

_You're welcome. I will attempt to keep my dreams private._

_I'd appreciate that. One more nightmare about drills… and I'm out of here._

An unshared thought burned in Jimmy's mind.

For half an hour, Jimmy attempted to ignore it and find the calming darkness in his mind that usually sent him into slumber… but there was a light on, and Cas didn't seem to be putting it out. _Is there something you need to say?_

_No._

_You have to be kidding. Come on Cas, just tell me so I can sleep, okay? Heck, you can have the body when I'm out… wander around looking at the light on the walls…whatever you do._

_No, it's nothing._

_I'm not fighting about this with you! What do you want to say?!_

Jimmy felt his stomach lurch, and he tried to calm down. His head beginning to pound, and he didn't want to deal with another nosebleed. "Just spit it out, Cas…" He mumbled, groaning in exhaustion.

_You dream about Amelia and Claire, good dreams. Strong ones. I… I can't help but see them._

_So?_

An uncomfortable silence returned, and Jimmy sensed unease from his former angel. _Cas… are you asking me to invite you in? _Jimmy asked incredulously, and opened his eyes, taking in the low thread count of his white pillow. _You want to see my dreams…? Cas, those are personal-well, the ones about Amelia… uhm… those can be more…_

_I… never mind. _Castiel retreated, and cut himself off from Jimmy. Silence. Closing his eyes again, Jimmy searched for that calm dark place in his mind, and quickly fell asleep.


	11. Chapter 11

Castiel brushed his teeth, brisk movements up and down like Jimmy had instructed in their early days sharing the body. He spat, and then took a drink from the cup beside the sink and swished it around in his mouth. The sensation was strange, even now. Something as menial as getting a haircut, or more recently-vomiting, reminded him of how alien he was to this world and this body. He decided not to shave today, and rubbed at the stubble that covered his face. When he had been in control of the vessel, physical changes, growth, aging, metabolism, all slowed. He'd been in control of halting or reactivating them. _And now I live defined by them._

_You want me to say something clichéd? Like how the mighty have fallen?_

_No. _Castiel walked to the door, and waited for Eliza to come open it up. _This is it, Jimmy. Just stay in the background… I'll take care of everything._

_Okay. I'll be here if you need me… or something. _

Jimmy slipped away, and Castiel blinked hard a few times to make the room level. He peered through the window, he could see Eliza approaching, her waddling form looking a little more anxious than she should have. He hoped she did not give their plan away with the fear in her eyes. She unlocked the door and produced three items, two from her pockets, and one from her pant leg. Castiel took them, and nodded to her, in a movement he had practiced in the mirror, he was fairly convinced it looked calming and reassuring. "Thank you."

"You be careful, boy." Eliza reached up, and Castiel froze.

_Lean down._

_I just combed my hair._

_Just do it._

Castiel bent at his hips, and he felt Eliza ruffle the hair he had combed without interest earlier in the morning. He had been up at four, and spent his time watching the sunrise, and feeling his pulse in his wrist. Jimmy woke up a few minutes after seven, and they had mentally prepared themselves for the hunt.

"Yes, thank you." Castiel managed to get out without sounding too insincere. "You are prepared, should I fail?"

"Boy, I've been up all night making myself right with the Lord. I don't think He would disagree with me killing in this instance." Eliza shook her head slowly, and brushed her stray hairs back into her ponytail. She spoke in a whisper, and kept a tight smile on her face. "My sister's coming to pick up the boys tonight. I'll call and let her know she doesn't have to… if we make it through this. I can't live in fear, never knowing when I'll drop dead and leave the boys alone. I can't see any more of my patients die." With a little nod, Eliza continued on her rounds, unlocking the doors.

He turned back into his room, carrying the objects she had given to him. A small canister of salt, a squirt gun full of what she guaranteed would be holy water, and a thin bar of iron that was about two feet long… she had broken it off of something, he could tell from the edges. _I am not entirely sure what we are dealing with, and even if I am correct, and it is a Gjenganger, I have to assume one of these should kill it. I am unsure as to how effective any of these might be, so I suggest we take all three elements into combat._

_Sounds as good a plan as any. _Jimmy declared, and then hid away.

Castiel cupped the canister of salt in his left hand, and tucked the 'gun' in his waistband, he pressed the strip of iron against his arm, and carried it with him, ready for use. He headed down the hall, ignoring everyone around him. No one stopped him, no one even noticed his march towards the Doctor's Office.

Once he was at the door, he listened for a moment. He could hear the creaking of the chair, the soft humming of the man inside. He knocked on the door, and entered without being beckoned.

Tammy was sitting on the couch, staring out the window, and Doctor Ruek was spinning in his chair. He gave a slow smile, and popped his pen into his mouth, running his hands through his thin white hair. "Hello, Castiel."

"Tammy, leave." Castiel barked at the woman. She didn't move. Castiel glanced over at her, she was hollow eyed, a pale blue color creeping over her skin. Her head cocked to one side, and she toppled off the seat and onto the floor. The scent of rot began to fill the room, but the horrible cheap cologne over-powered it. Castiel looked down at the woman a moment, then up to the creature sitting at the desk.

Leaning over his desk a little, the man breathed in deeply, the wheezing sound to his voice vanishing. He pulled the pen from his lips and rose to his feet. "Can I…hmmm… help you with something? You can see I'm not quite done with Tammy."

"Release these people." Castiel demanded, tensing for a fight. He kicked the door closed to ensure that no one would come in after him.

"These people?"

A pain in Castiel's left arm made him wince and his hand convulsed, releasing the container of salt. He let out a groan of pain and took a step forward. "I gave you a warning."

Doctor Ruek gave a harsh nasal laugh, and walked around his desk, approaching Castiel.

Castiel retreated, beginning to circle the room in response to the movement.

Doctor Ruek picked at his sleeve, and smiled. "Hmm… I've been around for many years, Castiel. I've learned a lot. Hmm… such as how to identify a madman, or an actual threat, for example." He crouched down next to the quickly decaying corpse. "-You're as damned as the rest of them." Giving a malicious grin, the Gjenganger clasped two fingers and held them in front of his face. "Dead Man's pinch."

With a slight narrowing of his eyes, Castiel's arm became useless, but continued sending signals of intense pain to his brain. He could feel the blisters begin to form, and blood struggle to reach his fingertips.

"A big place like this. One pinch, it's like…hmm… like putting a present on layaway. I can come take it whenever I am ready. Places like this are perfect for things like me, free food… and what good cop would listen to the stories of the insane, hmm? Who notices when a few go… missing?" Dipping his pen into the mess that was Tammy, Doctor Ruek poked at the remains, and then popped the pen back into his mouth.

"Agh!" Castiel gasped as the pain in his arm reached his heart. It fluttered a little, and he felt light-headed and very heavy at the same time. Castiel put the heavy iron bar between his teeth and pulled the water gun from his waistband, aiming, he sent a stream of the water into the Doctor's face. The man recoiled a little, but only in surprise, it seemed.

Castiel dropped the gun and pulled the iron bar from his mouth. He moved forward and swung it at Doctor Ruek's head. It sliced across the man's face, and a mass of thin grey membranes leaked from his chin to his cheek. With a howl that echoed through the room, Doctor Ruek splayed his hand, and Castiel's heart stopped a moment.

The former Angel collapsed backwards, landing against the desk. He attempted to scramble to his feet, but everything was going hazy.

_Come on! Get up!_

_If will was the way… _Castiel gasped as their heart pulsed desperately for a moment, then stopped again. He managed to raise the bar up, and slice through the empty air.

"I'm ready to move on anyway. Too long in one place, hmm? And this world is just ripe for the picking at the moment. The chaos happening out there… perfection." Doctor Ruek's voice was closer, and Castiel shifted his head to see that the man was currently pinching down along Castiel's now blue-ish arm.

_Say something in Latin… or Enochian!_

_Excrementum!_


	12. Chapter 12

Author's Note: Wow, thank you all for the reviews, suggestions, and comments. I am writing this because I am enjoying an escape from writing papers for college, so I don't have any reason to stop... and I have about six future chapters hoarded away on my computer in case I do start lagging.

* * *

Jimmy's personality pushed forward, and the strain made everything go black a moment. _Cas, you said… the energy of our souls… in conflict was damaging us… if it could it heal-_

_Human souls are much like a nuclear reactor, raw power… touching one… has healed me in the past…_

_So if I just… stopped fighting or something… If I surrendered like when you first came…_

_I am no longer able to regulate our energies. There would be no one in control…. we could theoretically explode._

_Hey, we've been there and done that… and at least we'd take him with us._

Jimmy's heart fluttered, and he let out a scream as Doctor Ruek pinched at his neck. Everything was on fire for a moment, and the conversation had no choice but to stop.

Jimmy closed his eyes as he gasped for air and stopped struggling with Castiel's more forceful personality.

Flames burst around him, and he saw the darkness of space for just a moment. The flashes of ages of man that he had not lived through pulsed across him. _This… now this is familiar. Welcome back to the comet, Jimmy. Strap in. _Everything surged around him, screaming, sights and sounds he couldn't comprehend… and he dissolved into it.

With a strong surge of blood from his heart, everything crystallized, and he opened his eyes. Power surged through him, and then outward, he could see the golden-blue glow of a soul. It exploded out of his chest, he inhaled in distress at the sensation. To his surprise, the soul then began deliberately pulling back in. Like water vapor condensing on a glass, he felt the energy take form, then merge with him and he gasped in a few rasping breaths.

Doctor Ruek had been knocked across the room, and his face was even further distorted, rags of flesh colored skin ripped from his skull, and little worm-like grey tendrils spilled from his jaw and nostrils. Rising to his feet, Castiel crossed the room, stepping through the now dusty remains of Tammy.

His eyes locked onto the bar of iron that had fallen, and he grabbed it as he walked to Doctor Ruek. "I do not know what created you, but I assume that this hurt you." The creature let out a howl, and moved his hands to protect his face, but Castiel plunged the iron through the stomach and into the wall, pinning Ruek there like a moth in a collection. "You may have cost me the soul of a man I respect. You should have heeded my warning." Castiel grabbed the creature's flailing hands, and snapped them at the wrists. The creature writhed in pain, and babbled in a language that Castiel did not know.

Castiel turned to the door, and shouted, "Eliza!"

The woman entered, her usually coppery skin was pale with deep bruised colors around her eyes. "Everyone's dying out there-You… _are_ an angel?" She held out a little bottle of lighter fluid and a box of matches. He had instructed her in what to do should he not survive the hunt. Douse Doctor Ruek, and set him aflame. She had been waiting outside the door, to hear the result of the fight.

He wasn't sure what she was seeing, but he rose to his feet to meet her. She looked ready to collapse… as doubtless others had already done so within the building. He took the offerings, and grabbed the container of salt from the floor. "You have done well. Your faith in me is heartening."

Turning his attention to the writhing form on the wall, Castiel walked over to it. He had an impulse, and obeyed it, kicking the creature as hard in the gut as he could, three times. "That is for Steve, and Tammy, and all the other innocents you've murdered." The creature spat a mouthful of blood at Castiel's face. It didn't make it that high, and ended up splattering it all over Castiel's clothing.

Pouring out the canister of salt over the flailing body, Castiel began chanting a spell to ward off evil spirits as he moved on to sprinkling the former Doctor with flammable liquid. Striking a match, Castiel held it for a moment, just long enough for the creature to look up with fear in its eyes. "A man… hmm… well, a man simply must eat!"

"You are not a man." Castiel responded, and tossed the match. Flames picked up the fluid immediately, and the Gjenganger burned like a dry leaf, a flutter of ash drifted downwards, and then it was gone.

Eliza's laugh resounded in his ears, and Castiel turned around to see her collapsed on the floor laughing and weeping at the same time.

Castiel walked over to her, leaned down, and reached for her. "Let's see who survived." She clutched his arms, and he noticed he was completely healed. _The power of Jimmy's soul did as it should have. But he is silent. _Hauling the heavy woman to her feet, he reached down from his superior height and wrapped his arms around her frazzled hair in some semblance of a hug. She made a short surprised noise, and then patted him on the waist as she returned the embrace.


	13. Chapter 13

Every bump and small hole in the road made them bounce up and down on their seats. The jeep was rusty and rumbled louder than the Impala. They were both silent on the drive as music played quietly on the radio. He assumed from the bright tone that it was a child's CD, but he did not know the songs.

He looked out the window at the passing trees, and the simple homes that lined the road. His eyes reflected back at him, and he titled his head at the slight glow that emanated from them._ Raw energy. Jimmy's soul is still roiling inside of me, but his personality has not resurfaced yet._ _The glow is obvious enough that Eliza did not think an encounter with the Police would be wise... and I'd rather not explain myself in any aspect._ Castiel turned to look at the woman beside him. She had pulled her seat as far forward as it would go to accommodate her short stature, and was watching the road intently. She seemed to sense his gaze and turned her eyes for a moment, giving him a quick weary smile.

"You alright, boy?" Eliza asked, putting on the turn signal, and changing streets.

Castiel nodded slowly. "I will be, I believe."

"You did the best you could, Castiel." Eliza said softly, and she gave him another quick smile. "You saved a lot of lives."

"It is a small comfort at times, to accept victories when they come at the cost of others." He shifted his position in the car and closed his eyes a moment. "Please drop me off at a bus station… I need to go find Sam and Dean."

"Castiel, you're spending the night at my house." Eliza said firmly, and made another turn, this time, into a driveway. There was a long path through the woods, and they headed up a mountain. Castiel was jostled in his seat as they made their way upwards. "We couldn't let the police find you… not with blue eyes from that Dune movie. And honestly, I wouldn't even know what to tell them, 'twenty people have vanished, but here's a man with glowing eyes that had nothing to do with it'… that just wouldn't cut it."

As they approached, he could make out a small grey building at the end of the one-way road, and there was a scattering of bicycles by the front door. The car parked, and Eliza got out. She stood by the hood of the car a few moments, and then motioned for Castiel to join her.

He unbuckled himself, and opened the door. Climbing out, he followed her to the front of the house. He felt good, not tired, not sick, not achy. Almost angelic again._ Fallen Angelic. Almost. _

The sound of screams from inside the house carried out into the yard. Castiel moved past Eliza as she unlocked the door, and shoved it open. He hurried inside, following the shrieks. As he ran, he grabbed a wooden candle stick off of a side table in the hall and held it like his Angel blade. He jumped over a skateboard, a group of tiny metal cars, and dodged a flying foam dart as he finally entered the room, his weapon raised.

Three boys, all younger than ten years old froze. One was at the bottom of a pile of couch cushions, he was a lanky lad with brown eyes, dark skin, and a buzz cut. Another was holding a blow-up hammer in the air, and looked to be the youngest, he had the same skin, but sported tilted red-rimmed glasses and had a diminished nose, wide-set eyes, and a large forehead. The third child was standing on-top of the cushions which were crushing the first child, and had long black hair pulled back in a ponytail, dark skin and mischievous eyes, he was holding a plastic gun loaded with foam darts. All three of the boys were half-dressed with cartoon character underwear on.

"Don't hurt them! Don't hurt them!" Eliza puffed out, as she rushed into the room. The boys attention all turned to Castiel, and the littlest one began to look frightened as he seemed to realize this man might mean them harm. "Boys, this is Cas. He's a friend of mine who's going to stay the night. Cas, these are my boys."

Castiel lowered the candle stick. "Well… this is embarrassing." He admitted tonelessly, and nodded to the young men.

"Heya. I'm Wilson." The one at the bottom of the pile said, reaching out his hand in friendship while remaining belly-down on the floor. Castiel hesitated, then walked over, crouched, and took it. He very gently shook the extended hand, and then looked to the other boys. True to what he had earlier observed, the littlest one began to cry. He scrambled off the mound, and ran to Eliza. The long-haired one squinted at Castiel, aimed his gun and wrinkled his nose. "You smell like something died. And you're covered in blood. You a cerebral killer or somethin'?"

Castiel looked over to Eliza for guidance.

"That's Rob. And cry-baby here is Leo." Eliza held the smallest child in her arms and rocked him back and forth. She patted his back, and then nodded Castiel back towards the hallway. "Okay boys, Mom's takin' a few days off. So, I want this house back in order, and I want best behavior around our guest." Eliza barked orders in a firm but loving tone, and turned around heading back towards the front door. "And for goodness sake, put on some pants, you weirdos."

Castiel shot curious glances at two children, and then quickly trailed behind her.

"Come on, honey. Let's get you cleaned up and into some other clothes." Eliza bounced her son on her hip and headed upstairs. Castiel stood at the bottom, unsure of what to do. His body was telling him he had to burn off some of this boiling-hot energy, but he wasn't sure what he was capable of. Healing, perhaps. But there was no one to heal. No wings, so there nothing to get him out of here… He felt almost feverish with the extra soul begging for some sort of release.

"Come on, don't dawdle there!" Eliza reprimanded, half-way up the stairs and bouncing the wailing child on her hip. Castiel looked around, to see whom she was speaking to.

…_She is speaking to me._

He followed her up the stairs, and she opened the door to the bathroom. "Clean up, I'll have some clean clothes outside the door for you to change into." With that, she bustled him into the little tiled room, and with the final sound of a frightened child's shriek, shut him inside.


	14. Chapter 14

Castiel sat on a wooden chair in the kitchen, he tried to shift to a more comfortable position, and he found something thin, brown, and sticky clung to his pants. He looked down, and gently pried himself off the chair and moved to the one adjacent to it. He tried to brush off the syrup-y mess that was now soaked into his soft plaid pants. They were so large that he had to pull the string of yarn inside them until more than half of the string was dangling on either side. Also currently adorning him was a size 3X saggy bright green shirt with the words "John Deere" on it was currently almost to his knees. Eliza had explained they were her ex-boyfriend's clothing, and put his own clothing… his loose blue shirt and slacks were in the wash. He had brought along Jimmy's tie, but everything else had been thrown out when he had first arrived, they were too bloody and stained to ever get properly clean again. He regretted allowing them to do that now.

He cleared his throat, held the phone to his ear. He mopped some water off of his face with the towel from his shoulders, and listened to the ringing. Dean's voice projected into his ear loudly with a smart-mouthed greeting, and Castiel smiled a little. _What an annoying human being. _

There was a beep, and he knew that was his time to begin talking. "Hello. This is Castiel. I'm…uhm… not good at leaving messages on the phone message recorder machine, so I'll keep this brief. I'm alive. I'm leaving you a message in light of this…because if I was dead, this would be harder to do. No phones in heaven or hell, so far as I know. But, as heaven is boarded up at the moment, I'm not sure where I would go if I died. However, that's not actually why I tried to call you. I'm-" A tone sounded, Castiel wasn't sure what that meant, and paused. The grating noise when the phone made when it was first picked up started. He stared at it. _I hate these machines._

He dialed again, and this time, the greeting did not play.

"Yeah, hello?"

Caught off guard, Castiel hesitated, reaffirming this was not the greeting. "Hello?"

There was a long pause, and then Dean's voice came through the phone again. "Who the hell is this?"

"I-I-uhm… tried to leave you a message explaining, but the beep sound made the phone go back to that warbling high-pitched noise, so I didn't finish. And then you picked up, so I am unsure of what to say." Castiel sat stiffly on the little stool next to the kitchen table, and stared at the maroon wallpaper in front of him.

Dean's voice was gentler when he spoke next. "That you, Cas?"

"Hello, Dean." Castiel smiled.


	15. Chapter 15

Wilson was currently up to bat, and seeing as he was the only one on his team, it was surprising that he was winning. Castiel stood next to Eliza's chair, arms at his side. Eliza had offered him one of the patio chairs, but he declined. He saw one of the metal chairs was leaning against the house, a bar of iron missing from where it connected the legs. His attention drifted back to the game and he watched the children play. "Thank you for allowing me to stay here last night."

"It's quiet, remote, up here. You want a place to hide until Dean gets to you, this is the place to be…" He watched as Eliza sipped a soda that she had brought out to the yard with her. "You should stay, and have Dean pick you up here." With an air of practicality that he couldn't logically argue with, he went back to observing the children.

"I don't wish to put you in harm's way." He responded in meager disagreement. _This is a very good place to hide. No one knows I am here, save Dean. No one has seen me around lately, and so it is doubtful anyone, angel or demon, is looking for me._

Eliza shouted out at the children. "Leo! Don't throw the ball at your brother's head!" She groaned, and rubbed her forehead. Castiel followed her gaze to the two children currently arguing about what to do next, and Wilson shuffling around on a paper plate that had been placed in the small lawn. Eliza turned to check with him. "Would you go get Wilson off second base?"

Striding across the yard, Castiel stepped over first base, a tattered magazine, and headed for the tall nine year old. Wilson looked slightly concerned as Castiel approached, and backed up a little. In one swift motion, Castiel swept the child into his arms and began carrying him back to where Eliza was sitting. _Or… had been sitting. She's standing there laughing. I don't understand._

Wilson was hanging upside-down and when Castiel looked down, he saw that the boy was smiling. Castiel hauled him towards his mother and set him gently on the ground, although it was head-first. "I… got him off." Hesitantly, he gestured at the child that was flopped on the grass staring up at him.

Eliza snorted loudly through her nose, and waved at him. "Not what I meant, boy. Not what I meant!" She continued laughing, and eventually it was Wilson that spoke up over her giggling. "She meant, like, hit the ball so I could run home. I thought you guys did baseball, you know, 'Angels in the Outfield'?" Wilson had scrambled to his feet and was brushing grass clippings off of his pants and shirt.

"Humans created baseball. Angels do not play sports." Castiel responded, frowning at the response he had gotten to retrieving the child as asked. "Well, not any that you would recognize as such. Although we did tend to throw asteroids at uninhabited planets for fun. But we did get into some trouble for that… Elsha missed Mars and it ended up killing most of those dinosaurs… so we were no longer allowed to do that."

"This game's not like that." Wilson's dismissive tone cut off Eliza's curious noise at the mention of the Dinosaurs. "It's simple. Come on." Wilson motioned for him to follow, and Castiel padded across the grass in his barefeet. Leo and Rob watched him, and then began to move towards him. Leo did not speak, and instead grabbed his leg and pressed his face into the pant fabric.

Rob took the bat from the grass and held it up. "Listen, all you gotta do is use this to hit the ball. You hit it over there—" he indicated with the bat to some grass that looked like all the rest of the grass, "and it's foul. You hit it good, an' you run to that one—" the magazine was pointed to, "and then that one—" Castiel was pointed to the paper plate, "and then you go that one—" Another random object, this time, a hubcap, "and then back to the beginning."

Castiel could hear Eliza still sniffling laughter away, and he nodded. "I understand."

Reclaiming his place on second base, Wilson flailed wildly over his head. "Hit me home!"

"Why would…I do not abuse children." Castiel called back, tilting his head as the bat was shoved into his hands. He noticed Leo's slightly flattened face had disloged itself from his leg, and he was currently toddling over to where he had been standing near the center of the circle of objects.

Rob had a blue foam ball in his hand, and motioned for Castiel to move to the beginning, which was one of the boy's jackets. "It's like Monopoly." Castiel shouted at Eliza, walking to where he had been shown.

He checked with her, she had a puzzled look on her face, and shook her head, "Well, you get all the way around, and you get a point... Maybe it's a little bit like _Monopoly_…?"

"A point rather than $200 in the colorful currency." Castiel confirmed, and put the bat on his shoulder as he had seen the boys do.

"But you need to do it before they tag you or the base with the ball, or else it's back to the beginning and no point!" Eliza called to him as he tried to set his feet wide like he had seen Wilson do.

"Like _Sorry_." Castiel nodded, preparing himself for the ball to come towards him.

Rob's first throw came, and Castiel tensed, swinging wildly. The ball landed a few feet in front of him. The throw had been too weak to reach the bat. He looked at Rob, and Rob looked at him. Leo had toppled over, emitting the strangest laughter that Castiel had ever heard, rolling back and forth in glee.

"Wait for a good pitch!" Wilson instructed, holding up his hand as if to halt Castiel's continued swings.

Castiel stopped, and put the wooden stick back on his shoulder. "Very well."

Rob stepped a little closer, and threw again, this time, Castiel froze, unsure if this was a good one or not. The foam ball hit his shoulder, and Castiel assumed that it was bad because he would have had to bend over backwards to hit it.

Leo looked up just in time to see this, and fell over again.

"Shud up, Leo!" Rob growled, and pouted. He retrieved the ball, and pitched again.

The ball sailed through the air in a straight line, and Castiel swung at it. The ball connected with the wood, and it sailed over Wilson's head, and all four of the males in the yard turned to watch the progress that the ball made. It hit the shed at the edge of the yard, and as it tumbled into a bush, the three boys looked to Castiel.

"RUN, WILSON! RUN, CAS!" Eliza shouted, enthusiasm in her voice. Castiel regarded her. She was smiling, and motioning for him to move.

Castiel returned his attention to the boys, and Rob was already sprinting to get the ball. Wilson was racing around to the third base. Leo was picking blades of grass, smiling wide, and watching Leo's progress. Castiel took off at a jog, and then at a full run. Rob was faster than he had anticipated. Struggling with his footing, Castiel slipped on the paper plate, and saw Rob coming towards him with surprising jumped over the hubcap, and made his way to where Wilson calling his name.

Something touched his back, and Castiel stumbled, looking over his shoulder to see Rob tapping the foam against his back over and over again.

Castiel stopped running. Rob ran into him, and flailed, falling backwards onto his butt. Leo fell over laughing wildly again. Wilson looked disappointed.

"You are very fast." Castiel announced, and walked calmly back to the beginning. He rose an eyebrow at Rob.

"That's 'cause I'm a kid." Rob responded in his mouthy tone, and he went back to where he had been throwing the ball. "You godda let Wilson go first. That's the rules."

Castiel stood a good distance behind Wilson, and watched the failed attempts to hit the ball. _Running. That seems to help. Perhaps I don't need to do something supernatural to tame this energy. _His attention was drawn to Leo, who was making a mound of grass he had pulled from the ground. The thick fingers of the child placed a dandelion on top of the mound.

Castiel's vision blurred unexpectedly, knees gave out, and he crumpled into the grass, his head pounded for a moment, the heat in his skin rose in temperature. _Claire in the backyard… Feeding dandelions to her dolls… just a toddler… so small... _The memory was gone. Eliza was shouting for him, and Wilson's boney hand was trying to pull him to his feet. Castiel blinked hard a few times, twisted his eyes shut and shook the feeling off. _Was that just by chance, a memory I absorbed in our time together? Certainly I knew Jimmy's life well enough to recall certain moments… or did he survive releasing his soul to me? _ Castiel searched inside his mind, and found no trace of Jimmy's presence. There was nothing but the untapped energy, no intelligence or consciousness came to light. But the burning in his chest, throat, and eyes was becoming more intense. He tried to reign in the energy shifting inside of him, _I need to get them clear. I need to them clear if I am going to—_

Castiel pried his eyes open, and looked up at Wilson. The boy's eyes reflected a blue glow, and Castiel was frightened to open his mouth, he was frightened that the energy could come exploding out. He turned his face to the ground, "Run! I'm…I…" He felt Wilson's hand leave his shoulder, and he forced himself to his feet, and looked wildly around. Eliza had scooped up Leo and was waddling as quickly as she could to the house. Her eyes were locked on Castiel, and he saw not fear… but concern.

Forcing himself to walk, he headed as far from the house as he could. He felt skin cracking on his cheek, and heard the blood sizzle in the heat. He almost made it to the tree line, when he knew he had to free this. _ Will Jimmy make it to heaven when it is boarded up? Can souls still make it there? _ He threw his arms back, and was tossed to the ground by the blast of energy that surged out. His own hoarse screams tore through his eardrums, and he shuddered as his eyes locked onto the sky.

The familiar pull of energy forcing itself out, trying to take him with it, drifted over him.

_Go. _

Then it did something he did not expect, it turned, and burrowed back in.


	16. Chapter 16

_Author's Note: Hello all. Thank you for your reviews! I have been having a lot of fun reading them, and I am loving that you're engaged with the story._

* * *

"The Whatevers'll be here in two more days, right?" Rob asked smashing another taco into his mouth. He chewed it loudly, and Castiel looked down to his own plate of food. He would not admit it, but it seemed he was being out-eaten by the seven year old.

He placed his own taco on his plate, and nodded. "They drive. It is not the fastest mode of travel." His hand absently itched the scab that had formed on his cheek. _The vessel is bursting from the inside. Like when I contained Purgatory…_

"So, do you got kids?" Wilson looked up from his smashed taco and continued picking at it thoughtlessly with his fork. "You're old enough to have kids."

Castiel cleared his throat, and stiffened in his chair. Eliza was cleaning up Leo in the bathroom after an incident with splattered hot sauce, and that left Castiel alone with the two boys and a platter full of Mexican food. "I do not."

"You got a wife?" Wilson persisted, obviously attempting adult conversation and interest in their guest.

"No." Silence lingered, and the three of them sat in silence, save the crunching sounds coming from Rob.

Eventually, Castiel felt compelled to fill the silence, and said the first thing that came to mind. "Jimmy has—"

"The dude you stole?" Rob's voice was muffled by the wad of food in his mouth.

Castiel scowled. "I did not steal him. He offered his body to me as a vessel."

Rob chewed thoughtfully a moment, then opened his still-full mouth again, "He godda family?" His dark eyes were not judgmental, and Castiel was glad for that. _He does not realize I was the one that separated him from them. _

"Yes. He had a daughter, and a wife… and a son that died very young."

The children stopped chewing, and their eyes showed surprise and curiosity. _Humans are morbid beings._ Wilson spoke first, "How'd he die?" but Rob was only a few moments after him, their voices overlapping. "Whad he die cause of?"

_Suddenly the silence seems a better option. _Castiel picked up his taco and took a bite, taking the time to think of how to answer this.

He had spoken to Eliza at length about his history, and Jimmy's. He wanted her to understand what had happened in the backyard… and why he had decided to stay until the Winchesters came. With the curious skill she seemed to possess, she sat in silence most of the time, offering advice or thoughts only as needed. He had surprised himself at how it came pouring out. He had never been one for sharing personal information, or saying much more that what he found to be pertinent… but perhaps being human now had weakened him. He stayed up late into the night sitting on the sofa and explaining himself.

He had expected her to flinch and pull back at some of the things he told her. He was ashamed of many of his deeds. But she had just grimly nodded, and listened. When it was over, when he had run out of things to say, he felt better. He felt less guilty about things in the past, as if he had gone to confession. She had ruffled his hair, given him a hug, and headed upstairs to bed. He had slept peacefully on the sofa. _It was all very surprising. _

He swallowed, and answered the child's question. "They do not know why he died. It is called 'Sudden Infant Death Syndrome' and the child expires in his or her sleep. One moment they're breathing, then the next they're gone. I have not given the event much thought, although it might be a rogue reaper with a—"

"Like a grim reaper?" Wilson's voice came out strangled sounding, and his eyes were wide.

"Death. He leads them, yes." Castiel took another bite of his food, swallowed, and watched the boys exchange glances. "But it could as easily be a normal event… or the work of a ghost or a demon. I really don't know."

"So kids can just not wake up?" Inquiring again, Wilson's eyes got bigger, and he looked over at Rob, who had stopped chewing and was staring at Castiel.

Nodding, Castiel swallowed. "Yes."

Eliza's heavy footsteps signaled her return, and she placed Leo down at his seat again. She checked the other two children with her eyes, Castiel noticed they just gazed at her with disturbed expressions on their faces. _I wonder why they stopped eating…_ Putting a hand on Castiel's shoulder, she nodded him from the room. "I think we should talk."

Happy to get away from what he now felt was an awkward conversation, Castiel took another large mouthful of his beef laden taco and nodded. Eliza waddled out of the room, after giving the boys a look. _Everyone knows their place, no one act out of turn. _ He followed her out and rose his eyebrows as they entered the hall.

"You need to call Claire and Amelia." Eliza's blunt tone meant that she believed there should have been no room for argument.

Castiel's amiable attitude vanished, he waited until his mouth was no longer full of food and frowned at her, tilting his head. "I see no reason to."

"I've been thinking about yesterday afternoon in the yard, I watched you from the window." Castiel stared off at the far wall, Eliza grabbed his face, and forced him to turn towards her. His eyes opened wide, she looked at him intensely for a few moments. "You said that light is Jimmy?"

"It is. Whatever is left of him. It is wild and instinctive. I do not think there is much of Jimmy left in that soul. And that much energy without the ability to control it… it is dangerous." Castiel confessed though her fingers were forcing his cheeks inward and that made it hard to speak. He forced down a thick sensation in his throat. "I used to be able to contain all of purgatory, but now a single soul is destroying me."

Eliza shifted her hands down and took hold of his shoulders, her eyes determined. She leaned in a little, and creased her brow. "If there is any chance that Jimmy survived, then you owe it to him to salvage what you can. You go off with the Winchesters, and they don't care what happens to him. I've heard how you talk about them, they don't give a damn about what Jimmy's gone through the last few years. They only see you, and ignore there's another soul trapped in there with you." Eliza pressed a finger into his John Deere shirt, and he did not move at the pressure. "He died to save my life. To give my kids a chance to have a mom until I'm old and completely grey. To save a lot of people in the hospital." Her eyes softened, and she pointed to the phone. "I'm asking you to give him a fighting chance. If you give him a thread of his life to hold onto… maybe he'll grab onto it."

"You're asking me to put his family at risk on the shaky assumption that his soul can be healed. I've spent the last seven months making sure that his family is not put in danger. I will not do it now." Castiel's head tilted down.

"But you admit he's not gone!" Eliza challenged, her flabby chin slapping against her chest. "You owe him a lot, Castiel. He deserves a fighting chance, and if there is anything that keeps me sane, keeps me going, gets me out of my worst moments, it's those yahoos in there!" Gesturing at the dining room, Eliza's eyes flashed with anger. Then she paused, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath before looking up at him again. The anger had diminished. "You don't need to invite them over for pizza, or run off to live some Walton's life with them, boy. Just… if nothing else, give Jimmy, and give his family some closure. Let him know they're alive, and okay…. And they might not even still have that number in service, but… at least you tried."

Reaching up and attempting to tame her frazzled hair in a ponytail, she nodded quickly, and waddled off to the kitchen.

_Perhaps I should not have stayed._ The voices of the boys talking echoed through the house. Eliza was asking questions, he could hear the boys responding loudly. Castiel clenched his fists and looked in through the doorway. _Smiles. Fighting. Laughter. Love. Family as it should be… _Envy. The emotion was not entirely new, but it was still something he had rarely felt before. _Is it me wanting this? Or Jimmy missing it? _ The question could not be answered, and Castiel cleared his throat, and stood motionless in the hall until the meal was finished.


	17. Chapter 17

_Author's Note: This is the bit where I move into the full plot of the story. What I am planning on doing is breaking this into a second story, which can be read independently after a brief "Then" summary of this story. I will be putting up a few more chapters here, but then this section of the story will be finished, and can be enjoyed as a story by itself. (So, think of it as a part 1 and part 2 of an episode arch)._

_Hopefully that wasn't too baffling... please let me know what you think of the plot twist during the phone call..._

* * *

It was mid-morning, on a particularly rainy summer Tuesday, the Winchesters would arrive tomorrow, and he had already had breakfast with the children. _They wouldn't go to sleep last night… so much shouting. And that seemed to just encourage copious eating this morning. They eat so much, so often. _Eliza had declared that she needed to go to the store and buy some eggs and milk, she had taken the boys with her. Castiel had taken the time to turn on the news, and read a newspaper. _Eliza was not lying. The world is falling apart. It will not be long before every part of a normal human life is interrupted. Soon there will be no place for TV's, no working phones, food shortages, jobs and more lives lost… Angels trying to take over cities… Demons slaughtering towns. The subtle approach seems to be wearing_ _thin._

Castiel rose from his seat on the couch, folded the paper, and turned the TV off.

Taking deliberate steps to the phone, he picked it up and dialed. The phone rang four times exactly, and then it stopped. Castiel's mouth went dry. He ran his tongue over his teeth, trying to get some moisture to reappear. Instead, his hands began to get sweaty. He transferred the phone to his right hand, and wiped the moisture onto the tractor shirt.

"Hello?" The voice came through soft and tired, but he knew it immediately.

_Amelia. Amelia. Amelia! _ The room swam, and the pull in his chest came again, burning and bright. Castiel could feel a sinking in his gut, _Eliza's right… some part of him is still cognizant. _His stomach clenched and he felt a little sick.

"Hello? Anyone there?" She asked again, and he heard another farther off voice ask, "Who is it?" just loud enough to catch his ear.

_Claire. _

Castiel cleared his throat, and found himself stumbling for words. He had planned it carefully before the household had awoken. A simple confirmation they were well, a short explanation of Jimmy's condition, and letting them know they would not see him again. _This is not how I had envisioned this going. They were not supposed to speak. _ His plan had involved providing them the information, and hanging up. But now Amelia was asking for him to respond, and he felt terrified. A few words tumbled out. "Hello, Amelia Novak."

"Can I ask… who's calling?" She responded with hesitancy.

_That is a simple question. _ But the answer eluded him a moment. "Castiel, I am the Angel that Jimmy Novak-."

"I know who you are, Castiel." The tone was downright hostile, and then there was some dialogue from Claire that he couldn't make out.

"I wanted to let you know that-" Castiel found the anticipated words bitter in his mouth, and he sensed something hit the warm skin on his hand. Water. He reached up to feel that it was coming from his eyes. He looked at the liquid in surprise. "It…is so good to hear… voice again." His throat choked, and his voice cracked. He felt he was still in control, but he felt captive in the suddenly wayward body. "…Miss you."

There was no sound from the other end for ten seconds, "Jimmy? Is that you?"

Castiel gasped out a few times, pressure building in his chest, his left hand took hold of the counter beside him, trying to steady himself. Frightened and confused by the condition he found himself in, he could not manage an answer until he had taken a few more shallow breaths. _Amelia. _"No. It is not. I… don't know what is happening."

"Why are you calling me?" Amelia's anger cut through the dull tone that the phone had given her voice. He could hear Claire's voice as well, and could not make out the words.

"I must know that you are well… Jimmy must know you are well." Castiel choked out, trying to stop his vessel from reacting like this. _I cannot speak when you are forcing me to behave in this manner! _But there was no answer from the original owner of the body, and Castiel continued to try to wrestle control away from these wayward emotions. _If Jimmy is functioning on base instinct he is impulsive… emotional… perhaps this reaction is not within his control either._

"That we're well? You mean that we're alive? Yes, Castiel, we ARE alive. We're alive and scared witless, and I want my freakin' husband back, you-" She let out a few words that Castiel knew she would never have said last they had interacted. _Such bitterness._ "You get over here, and get your filthy feathered brother out of my daughter this instant… or so help me…"

Castiel's fingers released the phone, and he heard it hit the counter with a plastic-y 'fwunk!' _Claire's capable of being a vessel... she's hosting an Angel. _ Scrambling to pick the phone back up, Castiel's body allowed him control again, save that pressured sensation in his chest. He held the phone to his ear. "Hello? Hello?"

"You heard me. I've got my daughter trapped in a ring of holy fire... and I want it gone!" Amelia demanded, her tone was not angry or bitter anymore. It was desperate.

"Who is it? Who has Claire?" His voice jumped up, _I am using Jimmy's voice. Or…is he using me? _Castiel wasn't sure at the moment, and the anxiety in him did not give him too much interest in figuring it out.

Amelia's tone became more urgent, and less hostile, as if hearing Jimmy's voice made all the difference. "They screamed at her, begged her to consent to being a vessel, she nearly went mad. The light, the voices… eventually, I couldn't see her suffer anymore. She agreed. To this. To spending her fifteenth birthday living in the circle of fire in the garage. Just to make them stop. It's hell, Jimmy."

"Who has her?" Castiel demanded again, ignoring her using the wrong name.

"It… calls itself Saul."

"Saul." Castiel repeated back, and let out a long breath. _I cannot place the name at the moment. However, he knows I am alive now. He can't send for help when he is in the holy fire, but if he escapes… I'll be all over angel radio. He heard her say my name, and he knows that is my vessel's family… I've done exactly what I set out not to do._ "Don't let him out of the fire, Amelia. Keep doing what you've done-do you have paper?"

There was a pause. "What?"

"You will need to write down what I am saying, and you will need to do exactly what I tell you. The Angels will come for you if he has a moment outside of that fire. He knows I am alive… and you are a weakness." Castiel closed his eyes, bringing the wards that used to pain him to the forefront of his mind. "I can only assume that you haven't fully angel-proofed your house, or else they would not have been able to contact Claire. If you want to keep her there, you need to draw this in human blood—" Castiel began sharing everything he could think of to ward off his brethren.

A solid half-hour later, he came to a stop, and there was just the thrumming of the phone-line.

"I believe that is all." He switched the telephone to his other ear.

"I have it. You should be here in a few days, right?" Amelia asked, her voice causing something to ache in his chest, and he felt the urge to hold this woman. _It is not me, it must be Jimmy's instinct. To comfort. To guard her. I do not feel such impulses…_

"I will be meeting with the Winchesters, and they will drive me. It will be about three days." Castiel confirmed, and prepared to say his goodbye when she cut him off. The words caught in his throat just as he opened his mouth. Amelia's voice was soft, it was obvious she was no longer talking business, and a shudder of longing crept through him. _That is new as well._

"Can… I talk to Jimmy?" He wanted to agree, but he knew that Jimmy's shattered psyche could not assert control, and certainly not hold a conversation.

Quietly, she asked again. "Please."

_As if I am holding him captive._

Against his better judgment, he did the only thing that these emotions would allow him. _I am a terrible human being. _Pulling as much of Jimmy's memories to mind as he could, he closed his eyes, and focused on changing the intonation and pitch of his voice. _I am truly the lowest of humans. _"It's alright. I'm coming. You just keep strong, let Baby know I love her, and I'll see you real soon."

Sobbing was the response he received, and Castiel opened his eyes, pulling the object away from his head and staring at the phone. He hesitantly put it back to his ear.

The sobbing seemed to get a little more coherent as the words "I love you" was managed through them.

Castiel reached over and pressed the white button to hang up the phone. _What was that?  
_

The front door opened, and his attention was drawn to the happy laughter of three little boys.


	18. Chapter 18

Author's Note: Final Chapter in this story. WHAT? Sam and Dean? Finally?

* * *

Eliza handed him a brown bag, and the butterfly mug full of coffee. He placed them on his lap, and continued sitting on the front steps looking down the driveway. "They will be arriving soon." He dryly commented, and looked up at her.

She smiled and ruffled his hair. "You take care of yourself… and your family, okay?" A shriek announced Leo's awakening, and Eliza turned to gaze into the house. The sound of all the boys running down the stairs to the front door became clearer as they approached.

"You're going home." Wilson remarked, and leaned over Castiel's head to peer down the drive as well, his shadow fell over Castiel's shoulders and lap.

"I am."

Rob let out a loud yawn, and he climbed around Eliza and half-over Castiel to get to the steps. "You've godda practice playin' baseball. Then, if you come visit, maybe you can play it right and not explode." He clapped Castiel's shoulder, as if sharing some profound information, and then began the climb over and around Castiel and back into the house.

At that point, Leo had made it down the stairs and pressed his face into Castiel's back for a moment. He let out a wail, and Eliza moved to go pick him up. "Boys, go grab some breakfast."

He could see Wilson's shadow vanish, and hear Wilson's retreating steps.

Castiel nodded. "I'll wait here. I will be leaving as soon as they arrive."

Eliza stepped into the house for a few moments, "Go have Will get you your cuppie, Leo." Then he sensed her return, and Eliza sat down next to him on the step. She took up most of it, and he had to scoot over to make room. She put an arm around him, and gave him a tight squeeze against her. "I know you won't like me saying this, but you're doing the right thing, boy. You can try to hide yourself away again… but you can't hide from problems… or family."

"My… angelic family wishes me dead." Castiel responded tonelessly, continuing to stare out at the drive.

"But you can have your real family, and Jimmy's family by your side to face them, Cas. You'll be okay." Eliza reassured, pulling him towards her again.

Castiel allowed her to crush him into her side, but gave no indication of enjoying it. "I am unsure of that."

The sound of tires up the road reached the house, and Castiel removed himself from Eliza's side, and stood up. _I never thought the engine of a car could be such an anticipated sound. They are such a pathetic mode of transportation. Tight, smelly, slow…_

As the vehicle was still hidden by the trees, Castiel noticed something in the sound. "Are you expecting company?"

"No… Aren't those your—"

"It doesn't sound right." Castiel tensed up, and his arm immediately twitched in the attempt to release his Angel blade, but nothing slid into his fingertips. He closed his fingers into a fist, and turned to face Eliza. "Get in the—"

Just then, the screams started. Castiel froze for a moment, his heart pounding, and Eliza jumped to her feet with agility that she should not have had for how much of her there was to move. Castiel spun to see a bright yellow car screech up to the house.

The children's shrieks grew in intensity. _The back door was unlocked._ Castiel chose to turn away from the car and run into the house. He saw three unfamiliar men, each holding one of the children. _Where is Eliza—_He nearly tripped over the body, and he swallowed down the anger that was boiled up in him as he saw the spreading blood pool from beneath her greying hair. Looking up, he saw Leo was limp, Wilson was bleeding from his forehead, and Rob didn't appear to be breathing. Castiel backed away, _I cannot tell what these are… angels or demons?_

He had been practicing drawing the angel banishing sigil over the last few days, it was one of his few defenses, and he needed to do it as fast as possible. He could smell Eliza's blood just a few feet away, so there was human blood available. _ I don't think I could do it fast enough…and if they are not angels, it will do no good._

Raising his hands, Castiel signaled his surrender. Of the two men, one of them had a bright pink button-up shirt on, seemed to recognize the movement. _Where have I seen him before?_ The man dropped Rob, and when there was no reaction when the child hit the floor, and his neck tilted oddly. Castiel knew he was dead. Clenching his teeth, Castiel suppressed the instinct to rush at the angel and stab him… with the angel blade that he did not have.

As he held his arms up, he heard footsteps behind him. "You win. I will go with you. Please, don't hurt this family further."

The man in the pink shirt shook his head slowly, "We've been looking for you, how've you been so well hidden, brother?"

_Angel then._

Castiel rolled up a sleeve, and showed the permanent marker scrawls that he had been maintaining on his arm.

"Hiding yourself. Clever." The man in pink smoothed his shirt, and Castiel watched him flip his Angel blade out, and he approached, stepping over Rob's body.

The other boys were still being held by two angels, their blades were extended. Tears and muffled wailing escaped between the angel's fingers.

"Thank you." _Jimmy, if you can understand me, now would be the time for us to—_A burning pain behind his ribs began to build, and he tensed up. _Let me control this, please don't do anything to hurt the other boys… let me control this. _Although whether he was speaking to Jimmy, or habitually praying to a god he didn't know anymore, he prepared for the man to make his move.

As soon as the slash of the blade came, Castiel dropped to the floor and he syphoned off a burst of bright blue energy, enough to shock the eyes of the vessel that the angel was in. He slammed his fist into the man's kneecap, and he heard a satisfying crunch. The angel screamed in surprise, and as Castiel had hoped, a glittering silver knife fell to the floor. Grabbing the weapon, Castiel spun back to his feet, and stabbed the man in the chest. A hand grabbed him from behind, and he slashed, even as he felt a blade slice through his other arm. He stabbed wildly at the figure, and then shoved the body aside, slamming his stolen weapon into the next man.

In the heat of the moment, he shuddered as he anticipated more attackers, but there had only seemed to be two that had come in the car.

_Wilson and Leo. _Castiel turned back to where they had been held, and saw only more bodies. The other angels were gone. They had fled out the back. Standing in the hall, he stared at the bloody carpets, the violent gashes across the children's throats. There was no way they could be alive. A tingling sensation in his arm indicated it was healing, he slid the angel blade into his elasticized pants wait, and kicked the body of the man in the pink shirt over.

"An orderly from Ellendridge." _Is it possible that Saul can connect to angel radio even in the fire? Or did the angel see what I had done in the hospital, and only now found me?_

There was the buzzing of blood in his ears, Castiel attempted to pull back the energy that he had released, and he jerked forward as it did. _Someone was listening to my plea. _The pain subsided, and he heard a familiar roar outside, one he could not mistake, as the Impala coming up the driveway.

Castiel hefted Eliza up, and leaned her against the wall, checking her pulse. Dead. He stepped over to Rob, and picked up the limp body, placing it next to his mother. Leo and Wilson followed. He sat them around their mother. "If I had the power… I would bring you back. I would heal you all. You did not deserve this." He crouched in-front of the grisly remains of the family, and heard his name repeatedly shouted from outside.

_Dean._

"I am sorry I failed you, Eliza. I am sorry I failed your offspring. If you make it to heaven, I hope you and your children live many happy moments. Perhaps I will find you there someday." He placed a hand on her frizzy hair, and bowed his head in respect.

Drawing himself up, and attempting to brush some of the still wet blood off himself, he went to greet his family. He walked over the angel corpses in the hall, and to the porch where his few belongings were still sitting. Castiel picked up his plastic bag containing his toothbrush, comb, towel, a package of underwear, and Jimmy's tie. He tucked the bagged lunch that Eliza had made for him into the top of the plastic bag, and reached down to grab the mug with his other hand.

The black '67 Impala sat half-empty in the driveway.

Dean the only one who had exited the car completely, his bow-legged walk becoming almost a run when he spotted Castiel. Holding onto his few earthly possessions, Castiel noticed the nuances of Dean's body language, and he anticipated the swing. "Dean." Castiel greeted, and dodged the fist that Dean had aimed for his head. Then there was another, and Castiel backed away quickly. _Retreat!_ "I understand you are upset. I should have called sooner, but-"

"Damn straight, you selfish child-!" Dean snarled, and grabbed Castiel into a hug. "What the hell, man?"

Another person got out of the car, and Castiel returned Dean's hug. It was the younger Winchester. He nodded to Sam, noticing how thin the man had become. _He is almost skeletal. _Sam motioned to his own eyes, and raised a brow. _He has noticed the glow. _Castiel gave a half-smile and shrugged, while still hugging Dean.

However, another person remained in the car. Castiel could not make out who it was, the shadow in the backseat was too deep, and he had other things to worry about. "There are many bodies in the house. I think burning it might be the best option."

"What happened…?" Sam walked around the ongoing hug, just as Dean released Castiel and slapped him on the shoulder. Castiel hissed in pain and scowled, it was obvious he'd just been injured there. _I had forgotten what a jerk Dean is._

"The angels found me. They slaughtered… the family I was staying with, and I assume they know I was meeting you, because they brought that—" He pointed to the yellow vehicle in the drive. "To trick me… it bought them time… and now Eliza and her sons are dead."

"I'm sorry, Cas." Sam said softly, although Castiel knew he had no idea who Eliza was. "Get in the car, we've angel-proofed that thing in every way we can think of… Dean and I will take care of torching the place." Dean headed off into the house to inspect the carnage. With a sad look on his gaunt face, Sam turned to follow his brother, and Castiel was left in the yard by himself.

Walking to the car, Castiel opened the back door and peered in. A familiar face greeted him with a sly grin, and Castiel reached for the angel blade he had tucked at his waist. "What in perdition are you doing with the Winchesters?"

* * *

Part 2 will be coming soon in the form of a new story. Thank you for reading thus far, and I hope you continue reading and reviewing!


	19. Chapter 19

Status: Complete!

Thanks for reading along on Part 1, everyone. I appreciate all the great reviews, but I am not sure to answer them all!

I hope you will continue to read, and move on to Part 2 which is now up, titled: "The Soul Reason". You can follow the link here: s/9831578/1/The-Soul-Reason or go to my homepage and click on the story.

Thank you again,

Clutchpaper.


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